Hello everyone Moraine here before I tell this story I just want to put a warning here this story will involve things some may find disturbing but is 100% true and can be backed up by a few other people.
The beginning.
I began gaming around 2008, I originally played Runescape but I went on to play ROBLOX. As much as ROBLOX is a meme these days it was a fairly new game at this time and I was apart of a group/clan called the Austratt Empire. Our leader I will refer to him as "Kreig" was a British university student. eventually I worked myself to Field Marshal and was allowed in our High Command Skype calls here we discussed things from National Socialist Ideology, play ww2 esc games like RUSE or discussed Raids or base defenses on the main game. It should without saying we were a Neo NAZI group we all believed in the racial superiority of whites. the elimination of those who were enemies of the white race and each of us were required to own a copy of mein kampf. (I still own my copy.) This went on around for a few years, around 2013 when my father died, I had to inform Kreig while he promised to keep this secret everyone in the high command knew about it. I was eventually made fun about it everyday I came online to every night when I got off anytime the a joke or a insult could ne jad ot was directed at me.
The Toaster
While this continued for about a year "Kreig" would start to want other things from me. A humiliating punishment for whenever I would get mad at them making fun of my deceased father. We would go on shady websites or sit in skype calls alone. I won't say exactly what I was told to do or what I did but i'm sure some can guess what it was. Meanwhile this hit ahead around sometimes in June 2013 This was the day I had decided to kill myself. While I did have friends in real life I still trusted my online friends more even if they did bad things to me I was too young to understand at the time as this was 8th grade.
It began like this. I came from home from school on a rough day after school and Kreig and everyone was in a high command call and it was the usual business of making fun ect until I had enough, I put on the camera on skype grabbed a toaster, filled the bath tub and dropped it. To this day I sometimes wish it had just killed me. But it wasn't plugged in. I was crying at the time and very depressed I hadn't even thought it out instead I sat there and looked stupid. Eventually these Nazis and Kreig would make fun of this as "You couldn't even kill yourself right" sort of jokes.
Conclusion
Some people to this day ask me why the toaster meme is relevant, or what the story is. I made this story not because i'm ashamed of my past or because it frightens me. It jut reminds me of everything I've gone through and perhaps next time you try to make a toaster joke you'll think before you speak. Suicide is a serious issue that really shouldn't be joked about and those who do obviously have never wanted to end it all or come close to it.
