The Great Fantasy Pirate RTD

[OttoFIN]

Robert pushes Dazzer out of the way and goes to bang the 10s.

so u push me away before I choose to go with you? ok

Yush, girls like bad boys.

[Dazzer]

Robert goes to bang the 10s.

Duzzer fucks Otto and then his bitches.

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

fuk I have to write the update. Will do tonight tho

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Dan x10000000000 fist pumps Dan so hard that they kill the world.

Dan ignores the other Dan. Dan stays super saiyan and cooks some shit for people. Because obviously you cook better while you are a super saiyan.

Dan x10000000000 is ignored by Dan when he goes for a fist bump. Dan goes back to work and makes a shit ton of food. While preparing a steak from mars, Dan is hit on the back.  Dan x10000000000 uses Dan confusion to fist bump go for a fist bump. While not being the cleanest bump, the fist bump is able to generate enough energy to create two beams of energy which travel in opposite directions. One of the beams kills the SJW while the other destroys the Moon which does nothing at the moment but I have to give you guys a punishment for bitching at me. 

Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior

Name : Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Bio: The son of the son of the son of the son of the son of Dan Cheffington
Skill: Being Zeus.
Status: Pretty much Gohan

[close]

Dan Cheffington

Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.):Dan Cheffington
Race:Elf cuz they can cook
Bio:Standing at 6'1" and weighing 230lbs, he was a chef for only the finest palates in England and Wales. Then he traveled to Jamaca where he gets high all day, everyday. He is the finest chef in all the lands. It is rumored that his meals are even better when he is high as fuck.
Skill:Can cook and fuck your mom
Status: Pretty much Goku

[close]

Oolong pushes through his slight injury, taking advantage upon Jackson's blindness he goes for the knockout swipe.

Jeckson blindingly looks around for the SJW's ass to use as a flail against Oolong

Jeckson is able to pull the SJW in front of himself before Oolong swipes at him. This enrages the SJW who starts to yell about the patriarchy of the world and how women are superior and tougher and how men are pigs who should know better than to put their hands on women. Jeckson, using the screaming SJW as a flail, is able to block all Oolong’s swipes and goes on the offensive. Oolong trips and just as Jeckson swings the SJW to end Oolong, the SJW is vaporised by the energy beam released from the Dan^2 fist bump. This blows Oolong and Jeckson into different parts of the city with Oolong ending up in Robert’s bed and Jeckson ending up in Queen Duzzer’s Palace. 

Oolong the Champion

Name: Oolong the Champion
Race: Ursine
Bio: Oolong is an Ursine, born and raised in the thick of the Canadian evergreen forests. He is a huge fucking 10ft tall grizzly bear. He is a very territorial and he has a low tolerance for other races. His family was slaughtered at a young age by a group of Humans and Elves. He grew up despising their creations and their race.
Skill: Strong, Intimidating, Combat ready.
Status: A bit injuried

[close]

Jeckson Duncold

Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld. He's brown as shit and insists he's italian or smth. This nigga's a lowly 5'8 giant. Made fun of for being a fucking midget. Also gay af
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol
Status: Blind atm

[close]

Duzzer fucks Otto and then his bitches.

Robert pushes Dazzer out of the way and goes to bang the 10s.

Duzzer sees the mass of women and attempts to push his way to the center. Escaping the grabs and hugs of the women, Duzzer is able to get the center and see the Most Sexi Man Alive(Sexi Man Magizine), Robert. Duzzer says fuck it and goes for that sexi dick. Robert, grabs Duzzer’s shoulders and gives a “Nuh uh,” and leaves with the 10 in the crowd. Duzzer, unable to drop the issue, goes after Robert in an attempt to fuck him. Robert, having none of it, roundhouse kicks Duzzer and leaves him for the mass of women. The women take Duzzer and make him their new queen while Robert goes to bang the shit out of the 10. Duzzer is placed upon his throne. He is crowned Queen of all the women by Queen Elizabeth. Suddenly Jeckson is dragged into the throneroom by a gaggle of women when he plummeted into the courtyard outside. Robert is ready to fuck the 10 when Oolong comes crashing through the roof and onto the bed next to Robert.
Roberto rolls that dank 18 while Duzzer rolls that average 16.

 

Robert McWottinson

Name : Robert McWottinson
Bio: Robert is a kilt wearing dwarf from Scotland. He lived in an orphanage but escaped because their food tasted bad. He then lived on the streets stealing, drinking and attempting to get any woman he could find in his bed. Robert is a bit stupid and loses his temper quickly and usually solves problems with his big fists. Although Robert looks aggressive, inside he has a big heart and wants to settle down some day. One night in Scotland he fell asleep in a bar and the next day he was in the middle of the Caribbean.
Skill: Being strong and Scottish
Status: More sex?

Spoiler

[close]

[close]

Duzzer

Name : Duzzer
Bio: Duzzer was named after his son Dazzer
Skill: Can breathe
Race: ARC trooper
Status: Likes the breeze

[close]

Glastrom wakes up, "Shit!" he proclaims, before standing up and shaking himself down. He goes to the local doctor to heal his wounds.

Glastrom wakes up and is a bit sore. Glastrom decides that he should probably head to the doctor to check how fucked up he is. Feeling bad for making Glastrom his bitch, Superman buys Glastrom a drink for the road. Glastrom downs the free beverage and yells a thanks over his shoulder to Superman. At the Doctor’s, Glastrom discovers that his constant drinking has turned him into a numb punching bag and he will be just fine.
Not too bad. You rolled a 15.

Glastrom Gnash

Name: Glastrom Gnash
Race: Dwarf
Bio: He was born in The Bahamas and his father was a big greasy man who hit his wife and abused his son. However, from this, Glastrom Gnash learned to be strong. He had no education and, when he was 16 years old, he ran away with the night with everything that he had (namely a sword, rugged clothes and a picture of his mother). His dad chased him down with a baseball bat bue Glastrom was faster than his dad. He travelled to Port-au-Prince in Haiti, where he joined a pirates crew. He lost his eye in a battle and soon became the right hand man to the Captain of the ship and when the Captain died, he rose to become the leader of a ship. Many years later, when Glastrom was 32 years old, he was defeated in battle with the British and captured. He was tortured, his crew imprisoned and his ship burnt. He managed to escape and ever since, now 34 year old, gets wasted in pubs every night.
Skill: Very strong and loves drinking
Status: Unconscious and sore 

[close]

John raises his Money in the Bank briefcase and gives a stare down at a random man. The random man gives John a seductive  look. John screams "YABBA DABBA DOOOOOO" and his theme song comes on. However, he attempts to go away from the man and heads towards a nearby Make-a-Wish foundation.

John starts to head off for the nearest Make-a-Wish compound when he sees the familiar sight of Video Cameras Branded with WWE. He remembers that he is suppose to be beaten down and at that moment he sees that the man who was giving him a seductive look was not a random man at all. Infact the man was Randy Orton who John has been feuding with for over 200 years. Randy “beats” the shit out of John. Cena, due to the fact that he is pretty much superman at this point, gets a few licks in but finally succumbs to the beating and is left in the middle of the sidewalk as Randy hightails it out of there. After the cameras turn off John continues to the Make-a-Wish compound. He discovers that the Make-a-Wish foundation has become a paramilitary group whose main goal is to kill the retarded children of the world and make their parents wish true.
Average. You rolled a 10.

John Cenarr

Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.): John Cenarr
Race: he's a professional wrestler
Bio: From West Newburry, Massachusetts, weighing in at 251 pounds. JOHN CEEEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAR
Skill: he can fuck your bitch and wrestle

[close]

[The Mighty McLovin]

Glastrom is very pleased with this. He stalks Superman, and when he is not looking and in cover, stabs him in the back.

[Glenn]

John looks for the owner of the Make-A-wish foundation and decides to cash in his money in the bank for full control of the group

[DoctorWarband]

Dan Junior x10000000000000000000 repairs the moon.

[Dazzer]

Duzzer takes his women army and goes to bang Robert.

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Duzzer takes his women army and goes to bang Robert.

You just gonna skip over Jeckson?

[Dazzer]

Duzzer takes his women army and goes to bang Robert.

You just gonna skip over Jeckson?

who the f*ck is that?

[OttoFIN]

The sudden appear of the bear destroys Robert's erection so he decides to just leave and go wander around the harbor.

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Duzzer takes his women army and goes to bang Robert.

You just gonna skip over Jeckson?

who the f*ck is that?

The fucker that fell into the courtyard

After Robert has finished banging the 10s he continues to wander around the harbor.

A fucking bear fell into your bed and you don't do anything about it?

[Dazzer]

Dazzer fucks Jeckson and then goes fuck Robert with his army.

[BabyJesus]

Dan goes and finds the 7 Chefhalla Balls. It is said that when all the balls are gathered, the Great Chefhalla appears and grants a single wish.

[Windflower]

Oolong rests in Robert's bed to heal his wounds.