Before I joined 89th RG I was a total loser. I was addicted to horse tranquilizers, incapable of producing facial hair, repellent to the ladies, and hardly able to lift a rifle above my head. But, look at me now! No longer abusing veterinary supplies and proud owner of one of the most lush beards in the Kingdom.
Before, the hair upon my face was merely a creek or a small stream. But now my facial hair flows like a swift torrent, cascading as if it is a waterfall from my chiseled jaw.
Don't take my word for it: trust the beard! Join the 89th today!