Every club ive met in California, including progressives, have happily let woman into their units as Rifleman, Gunners, Troopers etc. In every case of when ive reenacted out of state a majority of the units I have seen openly allow woman into their ranks. It varies by club how much they have to conceal their identity but most embrace it as a way to talk about a lesser known story in the period. You obviously dont have enough "yankee friends" to have a true understanding of what reenacting is like here.