Author Topic: Biggest Failures in History!  (Read 32750 times)

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Offline Hadhod

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #225 on: February 16, 2014, 04:53:49 pm »
Surprised no one named it yet: General Custer's attack with roughly 600 men against the combined forces of Lakota, Cheyenne and Arapaho natives at Little Bighorn

Battle of Jena and Auerstedt. Prussians fucked up big time there  :'(

Offline Turin Turambar

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #226 on: February 23, 2014, 04:40:24 pm »
The Sea Battle of Lissa during the 3rd Italian War of Independence.

To make it short: The Italian forces were made of modern ironclads and cruisers while the Austrian fleet had mainly gunboats and only 7 ironclads with 48-pounders instead of breech-loading howitzers like the Italians had them.
The proportion was 28 Italian ships vs 26 Austrian ships.
In the beginning the two fleets were only changing shells over a large distance. The Austrians were not able to fracture the Italian platings and the Italins just did not strike anything (the hit rate for the Italians:Austrians was 1:10). Only a one-hit wonder appeared when the Austrian Kapitän von Moll lost his head. Then the Austrian admiral Wilhelm von Tegetthoff ordered to attack and, if possible, ramm the enemied ships in close combat.
During the whole battle not even one Italian commander knew where the admiral Persano was because he changed his flagship shortly before the battle but forgot to tell anyone.
In the end the Austrians had 38 dead soldiers while the Italians lost 2 ironclads and 660 men.

But this was only the military fail. For the emerging Italy it was unacceptable that the glorious nation had lost a seabattle against the antiquated Hapsburg monarchy. That's why the authorities just denied any defeat and soon the newspapers were full of reports about the Italian victory of Lissa where the Austrian fleet had lost 2, 4 or even 8 ships with 700, sometimes 1500 killed enemies. The biggest jubilation was caused by the "sinking of the SMS Kaiser" which was disproved by Tegetthoff a few days later when he organized a banquet on the "sunken Kaiser" for foreign diplomats and military attaches.
des is apsichtdliche Browokazion etzala ferstest du

Offline Colonel Howe

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #227 on: March 21, 2014, 08:11:28 pm »
i forgot this existed....


hmm.

Good to see people have following up with it I suppose.

The Sea Battle of Lissa during the 3rd Italian War of Independence.

To make it short: The Italian forces were made of modern ironclads and cruisers while the Austrian fleet had mainly gunboats and only 7 ironclads with 48-pounders instead of breech-loading howitzers like the Italians had them.
The proportion was 28 Italian ships vs 26 Austrian ships.
In the beginning the two fleets were only changing shells over a large distance. The Austrians were not able to fracture the Italian platings and the Italins just did not strike anything (the hit rate for the Italians:Austrians was 1:10). Only a one-hit wonder appeared when the Austrian Kapitän von Moll lost his head. Then the Austrian admiral Wilhelm von Tegetthoff ordered to attack and, if possible, ramm the enemied ships in close combat.
During the whole battle not even one Italian commander knew where the admiral Persano was because he changed his flagship shortly before the battle but forgot to tell anyone.
In the end the Austrians had 38 dead soldiers while the Italians lost 2 ironclads and 660 men.

But this was only the military fail. For the emerging Italy it was unacceptable that the glorious nation had lost a seabattle against the antiquated Hapsburg monarchy. That's why the authorities just denied any defeat and soon the newspapers were full of reports about the Italian victory of Lissa where the Austrian fleet had lost 2, 4 or even 8 ships with 700, sometimes 1500 killed enemies. The biggest jubilation was caused by the "sinking of the SMS Kaiser" which was disproved by Tegetthoff a few days later when he organized a banquet on the "sunken Kaiser" for foreign diplomats and military attaches.
Ah Italy...second to Austria in military failures in my personal opinion.
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Offline Jorvasker

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #228 on: March 25, 2014, 08:13:18 pm »
America has pretty much been one huge failure since the 1950's
« Last Edit: March 25, 2014, 08:15:31 pm by LordJorvasker »

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Offline The Respected Man

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #229 on: March 25, 2014, 08:16:29 pm »
America is pretty much just one huge failure.
Hence why it has the largest GDP.

Offline Colonel Howe

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #230 on: March 25, 2014, 08:25:20 pm »
America has pretty much been one huge failure since the 1950's
U wot m8?

We brought FREEEDOM to:
IRAQI OIL

KOREAN GANGAM STYLE

VIETNAMESE

CANADIAN BACON

RUSSIA

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AFGANISTERN

KUWAITI OIL

JUDENLAND
AND

THE SAUSAGE EATERZ
Fuck off, Nazi scum

Offline Kator Viridian

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #231 on: March 26, 2014, 08:06:15 pm »
America has pretty much been one huge failure since the 1950's
U wot m8?

We brought FREEEDOM to:
IRAQI OIL

KOREAN GANGAM STYLE

VIETNAMESE

CANADIAN BACON

RUSSIA

AAAAAMMMMMMUUUUURRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCAAAAA

AFGANISTERN

KUWAITI OIL

JUDENLAND
AND

THE SAUSAGE EATERZ

Just gonna cross that one off the list ... pretty simple reason why ... just no.

Offline Colonel Howe

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #232 on: March 27, 2014, 01:08:04 am »
America has pretty much been one huge failure since the 1950's
U wot m8?

We brought FREEEDOM to:
IRAQI OIL

KOREAN GANGAM STYLE

VIETNAMESE

CANADIAN BACON

RUSSIA

AAAAAMMMMMMUUUUURRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCAAAAA

AFGANISTERN

KUWAITI OIL

JUDENLAND
AND

THE SAUSAGE EATERZ

Just gonna cross that one off the list ... pretty simple reason why ... just no.
OF ALL THE THINGS on that list...you crossed out Canadian Bacon?

Shows where your priorities are m8. As a red-blooded, god-fearing American, I believe that it is our divine duty to liberate all oppressed peoples of the world with the most natural resources.
Fuck off, Nazi scum

Offline GoldenEagle

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #233 on: March 28, 2014, 02:30:42 pm »
America has pretty much been one huge failure since the 1950's
U wot m8?

We brought FREEEDOM to:
IRAQI OIL

KOREAN GANGAM STYLE

VIETNAMESE

CANADIAN BACON

RUSSIA

AAAAAMMMMMMUUUUURRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCAAAAA

AFGANISTERN

KUWAITI OIL

JUDENLAND
AND

THE SAUSAGE EATERZ

Just gonna cross that one off the list ... pretty simple reason why ... just no.
OF ALL THE THINGS on that list...you crossed out Canadian Bacon?

Shows where your priorities are m8. As a red-blooded, god-fearing American, I believe that it is our divine duty to liberate all oppressed peoples of the world with the most natural resources.

made me lol

Offline Colonel Howe

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #234 on: March 28, 2014, 04:02:56 pm »
I'm happy my sweg could help.


Now for a battle:

This ones well know so i won't bother explaining it too much.
The Battle of Cannae. That cocky bastard Varro thinks he can just march his legions in a crowded checkerboard formation? He doesn't think any of the following:
-Paullus is my elder and therefore a bit wiser, maybe I should listen to him
-My men are so tightly packed together that they can barely move my arms
-Roman cavalry won't stand a chance against Numidian
-Hannibal has defeated all forces and consuls before me (all of which had larger armies and use almost the same strategy), maybe I should approach with caution.
Fuck off, Nazi scum

Offline Nipplestockings

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #235 on: March 28, 2014, 04:09:24 pm »
The Battle of Marignano was fought during the phase of the Italian Wars (1494–1559) called the War of the League of Cambrai, between France and the Old Swiss Confederacy. It took place on September 13 and 15, 1515, near the town today called Melegnano, 16 km southeast of Milan. It resulted in a victory for French forces.

It pitted the French army, composed of the best armored lancers and artillery in Europe and led by Francis I, newly crowned king of France and a day past his 21st birthday, against the Old Swiss Confederacy. With Francis were some German landsknechts, bitter rivals of the Swiss for fame and renown in war, and arriving late his Venetian allies.

The battle ended once and for all Swiss aspirations in Milan, and the Swiss Confederacy never again went to war against France or Milan. In fact, the Confederacy never went to war again at all after declaring neutrality in 1525, and (apart from the conquest of Vaud by the canton of Berne acting on its own in the 1530s) there never was any Swiss military offensive against an external enemy again. Swiss historiography[citation needed] has tended to attribute this to the "lesson learned" at Marignano, but[citation needed] at least as effective was the division created by the Swiss Reformation in the 1520s, dividing the Confederacy into two factions which would be occupied with internal hostilities throughout the period of the European Wars of Religion, as well as a number of painful defeats of Swiss mercenary regiments in the decade between 1515 and 1525 (at Bicocca, Sesia and Pavia).



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Offline Ililsa

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #236 on: March 29, 2014, 09:28:26 pm »
This ones well know so i won't bother explaining it too much.
The Battle of Cannae. That cocky bastard Varro thinks he can just march his legions in a crowded checkerboard formation? He doesn't think any of the following:

Makes perfect sense for the Romans to use their checkerboard, maniple based army. It's what enabled their acquisition of Greece five years after the Second Punic War. It was flexible and a pretty good way to use their forces.

Quote
-Paullus is my elder and therefore a bit wiser, maybe I should listen to him

Paullus wanted to delay the battle. The Romans weren't a fan of that, Fabius was massively unpopular for his strategies that actually worked, and Hannibal specifically baited Varro when it was his day to command the army.

Quote
-My men are so tightly packed together that they can barely move my arms

Hannibal's doing, technically. The Roman force was very concentrated on breaking his weak centre, which was gradually falling back and forcing the Romans closer together, all the while Hannibal's more experienced troops were pushing the flanks in and forcing the Romans ever closer, until their usually flexible formation became a blob of men being crushed together.

Quote
-Roman cavalry won't stand a chance against Numidian

They probably would. The Numidians were pretty much a diversion whilst the Hispanic and Gallic cavalry were involved in the heavier cavalry fighting.

Quote
-Hannibal has defeated all forces and consuls before me (all of which had larger armies and use almost the same strategy), maybe I should approach with caution.

None of which had larger armies. Rome had never fielded an army as large as the one at Cannae, an impetuous commander could easily assume that their 86,000 men could sweep anything from the field.

In a bigger sense, Hannibal is the failure for not using the victory to take Rome apart one stone at a time. It was the only way they'd win the war.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2014, 09:32:36 pm by Ililsa »
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Offline Dan the Seagull Chef

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #237 on: March 30, 2014, 03:50:36 am »
In a bigger sense, Hannibal is the failure for not using the victory to take Rome apart one stone at a time. It was the only way they'd win the war.
Hannibal really couldn't continue and attack Rome after Cannae due to the massive loses that occurred during the battle. Also it didn't help that Hannibal wanted to dishearten Rome enough for them to sue for peace.
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Offline Ililsa

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #238 on: March 30, 2014, 04:33:08 am »
Also it didn't help that Hannibal wanted to dishearten Rome enough for them to sue for peace.

Probably fair to assume that he wasn't aware that they were too batshit insane to make peace, even after a defeat of that magnitude, yeah.
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Offline Dan the Seagull Chef

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Re: Biggest Failures in History!
« Reply #239 on: March 30, 2014, 04:38:59 am »
Also it didn't help that Hannibal wanted to dishearten Rome enough for them to sue for peace.

Probably fair to assume that he wasn't aware that they were too batshit insane to make peace, even after a defeat of that magnitude, yeah.

They were crazy. No one could've predicted that.
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