So my new job will have me traveling the low countries and sometimes Germany on client visits. Got any German phrases I need to know?
If something negative happens to you, you have to address our great leader by saying: "Danke Merkel"
Not saying it will....but if it does....
If I end up in a Police station, do I immediately salute and chant "Heil Merkel" ?
No, you don't. The only acceptable "Heil" in Bavaria is "Lang lebe Bayern, die CSU und das bayerische Bier!" or "Lang lebe die Republik!" in every other part of Germany.
If the police is going to ask your name, you just have to dance like a Schuhplattler. After few seconds the police will also start to dance and you can go.
This is probably going to work as well. Unless you're in Bavaria again, we'll just stand there laughing and send you back to where you came from.