The Great Fantasy Pirate RTD

[BabyJesus]

Dan is determined to become a chef. He continues to go to the nearest tavern,crawling if he must and attempts to get a job.

[DoctorWarband]

Dan Junior wakes up and kills the GM.

[Windflower]

Oolong heads to the bar in the city, hoping to drown away his past embarrassments and perhaps redeem himself by picking a fight with a petty race.

[Commander Bondage]

I forgot bout this shit. Got a spot open?

[Dazzer]

Duzzer asks to borrow some money from some random guys and he makes them sure he will pay the debt later

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

I forgot bout this shit. Got a spot open?

Get in boyo

[Commander Bondage]

Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld. He's brown as shit and insists he's italian or smth. This nigga's a lowly 5'8 giant. Made fun of for being a fucking midget. Also gay af
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol

[BabyJesus]

Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol

he forgot to add that he was gay af

[Commander Bondage]

Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol

he forgot to add that he was gay af

Reread

[Commander Bondage]

Jeckson wakes up in a pool of piss and shit. He gets up and looks for the local bar

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Dan Junior wakes up and kills the GM.

Dan Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior dreams that he kills the GM. He still looks like a retarded child on the outside though because he rolled a 1 and has shit luck so he'll be in a coma for a while aka 1 more turn.
You have shit luck fam. You rolled a 1.

Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior

Name : Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Bio: The son of the son of the son of the son of the son of Dan Cheffington
Skill: Being Zeus.
Status: In a coma. Can't do anything physical for one update.

[close]

Dan is determined to become a chef. He continues to go to the nearest tavern,crawling if he must and attempts to get a job.

Fucking Chefiden comes down from Chefhalla and heals Dan of his lameness. Giving Dan a Holy Spatula and a pat on the head, Chefiden goes skipping down the sidewalk yelling, "Chefhalla V.2 is open for business and Dan Cheffington is now the Executive Chef. Now located in the bar on the new second floor." And with that the fucking bar explodes and from the smoke emerges a two story building.
What is luck? You rolled a 20.

Dan Cheffington

Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.):Dan Cheffington
Race:Elf cuz they can cook
Bio:Standing at 6'1" and weighing 230lbs, he was a chef for only the finest palates in England and Wales. Then he traveled to Jamaca where he gets high all day, everyday. He is the finest chef in all the lands. It is rumored that his meals are even better when he is high as fuck.
Skill:Can cook and fuck your mom
Status: He's alright.

[close]

Duzzer asks to borrow some money from some random guys and he makes them sure he will pay the debt later

Duzzer asks for change from the passersby. As soon as the first bit of change enters his begging pot, Bert, Ernie, and Oscar the Grouch come walking down the sidewalk. As soon as Oscar sees that his can is occupied by another person, He goes fucking mental and starts beating the shit out of Duzzer. Bert and Ernie come to the aid of Oscar and help him to beat Duzzer. Duzzer is left in a heap on the sidewalk as Oscar takes his garbage can and leaves with Bert and Ernie. The group disappears in the distance into the smoke from the explosion at the bar.
Soz fam you rolled a 3.

Duzzer

Name : Duzzer
Bio: Duzzer was named after his son Dazzer
Skill: Can breathe
Race: ARC trooper
Status: Beat the fuck up.

[close]

Oolong heads to the bar in the city, hoping to drown away his past embarrassments and perhaps redeem himself by picking a fight with a petty race.

Turning around, Oolong heads to the bar to try to beat the shit out of little creatures. Oolong picks up a little squirrel in an attempt to get a little cred back. However as soon as Oolong attempts to kill the squirrel, the bar explodes and makes Oolong drop the squirrel. A positive of the explosion was that he landed on and killed Mr. Snuffleupagus' cousin.
You rolled an 8 so not too bad.

Oolong the Champion

Name: Oolong the Champion
Race: Ursine
Bio: Oolong is an Ursine, born and raised in the thick of the Canadian evergreen forests. He is a huge fucking 10ft tall grizzly bear. He is a very territorial and he has a low tolerance for other races. His family was slaughtered at a young age by a group of Humans and Elves. He grew up despising their creations and their race.
Skill: Strong, Intimidating, Combat ready.
Status: Got some cred

[close]

Robert goes to the bar too and gets a drink or two.

Robert heads to the bar to grab a few bevs. Robert enters the bar and gets a few beers on the house because some idiot rang the bell and gave everyone a few drinks on him. Suddenly the fucking bar explodes. As everyone regains their senses, Robert notices that he was cut a few times by the bottles in the bar and may require some medical attention. When he looks up, he sees Chefiden standing in the middle of the bar proclaiming the opening of Chefhalla V.2 upstairs.

Robert McWottinson

Name : Robert McWottinson
Bio: Robert is a kilt wearing dwarf from Scotland. He lived in an orphanage but escaped because their food tasted bad. He then lived on the streets stealing, drinking and attempting to get any woman he could find in his bed. Robert is a bit stupid and loses his temper quickly and usually solves problems with his big fists. Although Robert looks aggressive, inside he has a big heart and wants to settle down some day. One night in Scotland he fell asleep in a bar and the next day he was in the middle of the Caribbean.
Skill: Being strong and Scottish
Status: Cut up a bit

Spoiler

[close]

[close]

Jeckson wakes up in a pool of piss and shit. He gets up and looks for the local bar

Jeckson wakes up and heads to the bar for drink. Turning the corner in front of the bar, he sees a big fucking bear attempting to kill a squirrel. He ignores this because he only likes the Human dick and continues into the bar. As soon as he enters the bar, the bar explodes causing Jeckson to knock into Mr. Snuffleupagus' cousin who then falls under Oolong who accidentally kills him. Jeckson is relatively unscathed.
You rolled a 7 so not too bad.

Jeckson Duncold

Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld. He's brown as shit and insists he's italian or smth. This nigga's a lowly 5'8 giant. Made fun of for being a fucking midget. Also gay af
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol
Status:

[close]

[Audiate]

What the fuck is this?

and folks there you have it, good night

[Windflower]

Oolong, being the boss nigga he is, looks down at Jackson, and attempts to spit right on that motherfuckers face.

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

I think imma wait til Thursday to post the next update so everyone is unmuted.

[Commander Bondage]

Jeckson, being the badasser fuck that he is, catches the spit with his fingers and shoves it right down Oolong's throat.