⚔ 1er Régiment de Grenadiers-à-Pied de la Garde Imperiale [RECRUITING]

[Sergi]

This is karma, m4nkey, its for terrorizing me with your voodoo magictricks !

[Warder]

M4nkey, play NW so with me 

[Duuring]

Now I know what it feels like to be a social pariah.

Great feeling, eh?

[M4nkey]

Day 3: I've eaten my left foot. I'm not sure how that was supposed to make me feel better, but it seemed a pretty clever idea at the time. I also accidently made Sergi gay, because of a failed voodoo spell. Sorry for that, although it's not a bad thing being gay, way less hassle with women I imagine, so he should actually be glad.

[Warder]

Viva la Queer

[Mr T]

Every day, M4nkey eats the toes of his remaining foot, in a few weeks, he'll die if he doesn't get the refreshing Rome II that he needs.

So please, donate a pound a week and a porn magazine to the Saving Adjutant M4nkey foundation, maybe one day M4nkey will have Rome II, but only with your help.

[M4nkey]

Day 17: I think I'm losing track of time. I declared war on the mailmen a week ago, but still didn't attack. Makes me feel like Total War AI. I'm scared. Meanwhile the first care packages from my allies are arriving. Mr T organized the entire supply chain and is visiting regularly. More people are joining the resistance every day, so we are in dire need of supplies. The privileged are still not bothering to help us, as they just play Rome II the whole day. We lost Slaterfist, when his brother took him in the ranks of the privileged, a sad day for resistance. My left prothesis is acting up, I think something is approaching...

[Mr T]

We must donate all we can to this worthy charity, even if our internets have internet cancer, we must do all we can to help all the innocent little Bavarians out there without fresh drinking Rome II.

[Warder]

tomorrow in the news
"Armed with a banana bavarian, attacked mailmen shouting the battle cry of Total War Rome II "

[M4nkey]

Day 42: We are losing more and more men in the west. The outskirts look like a wasteland. How could it have gone this far? It started with a single banana being thrown at a mailman, but then... everything went out of hand. All the bananas... all those mailboxes... the horror... the horror...

[Warder]

 Maybe it's time for a final solution of mailmen?

[Mr T]

The Saving Adjutant M4nkey charity now needs your support now than ever, with Russia and the USA unable to decide whether to arm M4nkey against the Mailmen, it is up for us to take action without UN approval, we must send M4nkey more bananas for weaponry and other fruit of mass destruction.

[Marceaux]

Save poor M4nkey!

[Mr T]

We need more people to help stop the mailmen using chemical fruit on poor M4nkey, the credit of the FSE community is at stake!

[Warder]

You've my sword.