July 31st, 2014. This marks the day I'll let some people down. This is the day I look back on the people who let me down, as foolish as that sounds for a gaming community. This is the day I lay the scottish saber at rest.
It's been nothing short of a blast- okay, I'll not lie, these past months have been a poorly designed roller coaster that I would have rather lived without.
Perhaps it was overly ambitious to pick a regiment like the 91st to take the reigns of. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe with the members we had--myself, Orcaryo, Forest, CJH, Achilles, Habsburger, and many, many more--we could have really made it something special. In fact, every time it would reach a point in which we really were on the right track to succeeding, the track would end and we would crash, almost always due to someone's dedication and ability not reaching up to their expectations--envy, jealousy, whatever would inspire it.
I'll be honest. It's hard to enjoy this game. It's hard to enjoy this community. Throughout its lifespan, Mount & Blade: Warband: Napoleonic Wars has turned into no less than a competition and heartless community. I've seen faces that I once saw as optimistic, friendly, and well-spirited, turn to pessimistic, hateful, and dooming. I've seen really amazing people turn into faceless creatures that care about nothing more than being a name on a tag. I've seen regiments form with bonding in mind, only to result in bonded pockets splitting and disbanding, forming new regiments, and going inactive. I've seen friends turn to enemies, people who I would talk to for ridiculous amounts of time at a time to people who refuse to communicate to me--over things like demotions. I've seen people hate other people for absolutely no reason other than them not being under their own command, at times.
I'm not here to spite, so I'll leave names out of it. But there are a
lot of people who I expected so much better out of at times. Just more humane reasoning behind their actions.
For the people on the forums, which this primarily is meant for clearly, I request something from all of you. Please, go look at your post history. Look at the posts you used to make. The amount of smiley emojis and general confidence you had in total strangers. The amount of spirit you had for this community and game, that showed you really had optimism about it, that you really enjoyed it. Then look at your recent posts. How more careless you have become in your posts, and how less you care about others success. When a regiment formed years ago, regardless of their thread's quality or amount of members, people would post "Good luck!
" and "Welcome to NW!" but that shine has seemed to have left a lot of us. Now, when a regiment forms, people are so quick to criticize, demeanor, judge, and pick at.
I don't want to sound like a kindergarten teacher or some sort of preacher. This community has genuinely become disgusting. It's become too much for me--too much of people rejecting regiments because they're not skillful, instead of judging them on their communal friendships, too much of people leaving regiments for others because those others have reached a certain level of prestige or status, instead of sticking through it because those members mean something to them. I don't mean to sound holier-than-thou, but the only reason I haven't given up on leading my dedicated and loyal group and join some regiment that defines itself on 1v1s and groupfighting server popularity, is because of that dedicated and loyal group. Those people who really show me every day that they're with me until the end because they want to be with me until the end, not because they want to out-do or best anyone else.
This doesn't go to one person or group above any other: I really would like to see you all happier. (
faggot! lol) Genuinely, I'd really like to see people enjoying this game because it's fun for them, and because they enjoy the people they play with, not because they have to make their regiment or fame bigger and better than everyone else.
The 91st, as far as I know, isn't disbanding. However, this is my official resignation from the 91st, and I'd dearly like to see it, as well as the rest of NW, play together still simply because they enjoy it.
Additionally, I'd just like to say that there are some
awesome people in this community. Amazingly talented, smart, funny... this community really, really is unique.
I'll still be around for a little while before I set out for the great unknown, so I'm in a way, happily-melancholic about leaving NW. I will surely miss some of you, but I simply don't handle stress well, and the stress of a regiment that constantly strives to be better, and better, and better, while I only truly find fun in the game when I focus on the community aspects of it, really doesn't help me.
And to the 'haters': I guarantee that at some point in time, I really wanted to be your friend. Sorry for offending in whatever way I had.
Goodbye, NW.
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