Biggest Failures in History!

[BattleBoss]

How about some unrelated failures that may not disappoint people!
On June 20th, 1898, the USS Charleston arrived at the island of Guam, with orders to take the Spanish owned and rock by any means necessary. I'm sure most of us know the story that unfolds, but, here's how wikipedia likes to word it.

Spoiler

"As the cruiser proceeded on its way, a small group of curious inhabitants gathered on the shores of Piti, a landing place down the bay. These locals were aware of the presence of the American vessels, for they had been sighted early that morning. All of the important citizens of Guam were there with the exception of the governor, Don Juan Marina. The chief officials present were a lieutenant commander of the navy and captain of the port, Don Francisco Gutierrez, Don Jose Romero, naval surgeon, and Captain Pedro Duarte Anducar of the marine corps, and Don Jose Sixto, civil paymaster. Among the prominent civilians at the beach were Francisco Portusach, the leading merchant of Guam, and his brother Jose Portusach. While the gathering was looking curiously at the cruiser and the three transports, Charleston fired 13 rounds at the old Spanish fortress from three of her guns. There was no return fire, and there was no apparent damage to the fort. Pedro Duarte turned to his companions and said that the ship must be saluting the fort, so he hurriedly dispatched a messenger to Agana, the capital, which was about 6 mi (9.7 km) away, requesting the governor to send artillery to Piti to return the salute. The captain of the port, the naval surgeon, and a native Chamorro named Jose Paloma got into a boat furnished by Francisco Portusach and went out to welcome the visitors. Jose Portusach went along with the party to act as interpreter. When they finally got aboard the deck of the Charleston, Captain Glass immediately informed them that war had been declared between the U.S. and Spain.

The Spanish officials were amazed when they heard this and the news that they were now prisoners of war, because no dispatches or mail had arrived since 9 April to enlighten them. They were then paroled for the day when they promised to return to Agana to inform the governor of the war and notify him to appear on board the American ship immediately. The party then went below deck into the captain's cabin to discuss the surrender of the island."

[close]

I do have to say, lack of communication has the opportunity to lead to some comical situations.

[TheBoberton]

The only connection the Holocaust has to the Second World War is that the Allies and USSR put a stop to it when they marched into the camps. Besides;

A certain Leader blamed a certain religion for some certain misfortunes.

No, he blamed an ethnic group for the nation's misfortunes. There's a reason searches into people's family history happened in Nazi Germany; They weren't checking your ancestor's religion, as they didn't give a shit about it.

Religion is certainly part of the causality of why things are so fucked up in the world and if you can't do the math on that, then I can't help you.

Oh indeed, religion has caused many problems (And solved some at the same time), but Godson is a fool if he thinks that the Second World War had anything to do with it.

[Augy]

Religion is certainly part of the causality of why things are so fucked up in the world and if you can't do the math on that, then I can't help you.

Oh indeed, religion has caused many problems (And solved some at the same time), but Godson is a fool if he thinks that the Second World War had anything to do with it.

Not directly ofcourse, Christian dogma and Social Darwinism as you probably know went hand in hand. Catholic Church went allong with it aswel like they did with regimes before.

Here's an anecdote from Antonio Garcia Baron whilst he was interned at Mauthausen concentration camp and he met Himmler,

"I told Himmler (the head of the Nazi SS) when he visited the Mauthausen quarry on 27 April, 1941, what a great couple the (Nazis) made with the Church."
"He replied that it was true, but that after the war I would see all the cardinals with the Pope marching there, pointing at the chimney of the crematorium."

[ClearlyInvsible]

Hm... what is the biggest failure in history I can think of...

...Six Day War...

Hurts more because I had an Uncle who was a Capitaine in the Moroccan Expeditionary Force at Golan heights... he didn't come back. Not many did.

[Wismar]

Hilarious

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Zanzibar_War

One guy on the british side got wounded while (probably slipped or something) they took out 500 of the enemy.

[DoctorWarband]

1 Roman legion killed an entire huge squad of elephants with no casualties. Derp.

[KillerMongoose]

The Kettle War.

1 Dutch ship versus 3 Austrian ships, the Dutch ship fires a single warning shot which strikes a soup kettle on the deck of one of the Austrian ships. The Austrians retreat and the war was over. The only casualty was a kettle, and presumably all of the soup within.

[Augy]

Dien Bien Phu, destruction of Paris Commune,  Spanish civil war, Hoover and the FBI, Truman winning over Wallace, murder of JFK, Bay of Pigs invasion and how the Europeans left Africa in the state that it is now.

[Duuring]

The Kettle War.

1 Dutch ship versus 3 Austrian ships, the Dutch ship fires a single warning shot which strikes a soup kettle on the deck of one of the Austrian ships. The Austrians retreat and the war was over. The only casualty was a kettle, and presumably all of the soup within.

The Austrians were so confident the Dutch wouldn't react to their challenge. 

[GodsonGuys]

The Kettle War.

1 Dutch ship versus 3 Austrian ships, the Dutch ship fires a single warning shot which strikes a soup kettle on the deck of one of the Austrian ships. The Austrians retreat and the war was over. The only casualty was a kettle, and presumably all of the soup within.

Sounds like a Monty Python Sketch.

[ClearlyInvsible]

The Kettle War.

1 Dutch ship versus 3 Austrian ships, the Dutch ship fires a single warning shot which strikes a soup kettle on the deck of one of the Austrian ships. The Austrians retreat and the war was over. The only casualty was a kettle, and presumably all of the soup within.

Sounds like a Monty Python Sketch.

Most of history seems like a comedy sketch to me...

[Pinball Wizard]

The Kettle War.

1 Dutch ship versus 3 Austrian ships, the Dutch ship fires a single warning shot which strikes a soup kettle on the deck of one of the Austrian ships. The Austrians retreat and the war was over. The only casualty was a kettle, and presumably all of the soup within.

Sounds like a Monty Python Sketch.

Most of history seems like a comedy sketch to me...

Especially communism 

[ClearlyInvsible]

The Kettle War.

1 Dutch ship versus 3 Austrian ships, the Dutch ship fires a single warning shot which strikes a soup kettle on the deck of one of the Austrian ships. The Austrians retreat and the war was over. The only casualty was a kettle, and presumably all of the soup within.

Sounds like a Monty Python Sketch.

Most of history seems like a comedy sketch to me...

Especially communism 

That's more like Shaksperian Tradgedy actually.

And Fascism is the grind-house over the top crap.

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Hilarious

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Zanzibar_War

One guy on the british side got wounded while (probably slipped or something) they took out 500 of the enemy.

30 minutes is quite a war indeed.

[KillerMongoose]

That actually isn't a very surprising outcome, it wasn't even much of a war, just British ships blasting Zanzibar to dust.