Again, fully fictional.
There once was a lonely kid called trannyis, he and his amigo threwupthealphabet were on their way to the special people's hospital when trannyis decided to play with a leaf. Only that leaf belonged to the only man who lives in Macedonia with his pet mouse Travic.
Now, the word on the street was, this man was an escaped felony, having escaped Tesco with several crates of cider and bringing them to Asda twice. With the scar on his face from the time he slipped on a banana, the only man who lives in Macedonia sliced poor trannyis' thumb into quaters and quickly began preparing a lovely cooked panini.
How did this affect trannyis you might ask? He developed the latest excuse for being the literal worst player to be seen in the universe of NW. Of course, this excuse didn't get past the mighty chiken. Oh no, chiken saw right through it and called him bad. Little trannyis ran home sucking the only thumb he had left leaving threwupthealphabet clueless to what actually happened. I mean, he was a special nugget who wasn't quite all there in the first place, for he was distracted by a squirrel running up a tree.
The morale of this story. Watch out for the only man who lives in Macedonia. Oh and Lone sucks.
