Glastrom is very pleased with this. He stalks Superman, and when he is not looking and in cover, stabs him in the back.
Glastrom has the brilliant plan to stab superman because superman cannot be all that super because he was man in his name. So Glastrom believes and made, with a sound, well developed theorem, that he will be able to stab the good ol’ superman with a knife. Glastrom begins to stalk superman because he has decided in 30.2145 seconds that he will attempt and complete his plan to the best of his limited abilites. As superman walks into the phonebooth to change, Glastrom moves in for the “kill” so to say. Glastrom forces open the door and stabs wildly. It appears that it was not superman but a man who looks like superman who was wearing a superman costume. It also appears that the police did not take that kindly. They arrest Glastrom and throw him into the jail.Ur shit. 11
Glastrom Gnash
Name: Glastrom Gnash
Race: Dwarf
Bio: He was born in The Bahamas and his father was a big greasy man who hit his wife and abused his son. However, from this, Glastrom Gnash learned to be strong. He had no education and, when he was 16 years old, he ran away with the night with everything that he had (namely a sword, rugged clothes and a picture of his mother). His dad chased him down with a baseball bat bue Glastrom was faster than his dad. He travelled to Port-au-Prince in Haiti, where he joined a pirates crew. He lost his eye in a battle and soon became the right hand man to the Captain of the ship and when the Captain died, he rose to become the leader of a ship. Many years later, when Glastrom was 32 years old, he was defeated in battle with the British and captured. He was tortured, his crew imprisoned and his ship burnt. He managed to escape and ever since, now 34 year old, gets wasted in pubs every night.
Skill: Very strong and loves drinking
Status: He is retarded
John looks for the owner of the Make-A-wish foundation and decides to cash in his money in the bank for full control of the group
NOOOOOO, WHAT!!! THAT’S JOHN CENA! WHAT’S HE DOING OUT HERE! OH NOOO! HE’S CASHING IN HIS MONEY IN THE BANK!!!!!!! IT LOOKS LIKE MR. MAKE-A-WISH HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING WILL THIS BE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR JOHN TO ADD ANOTHER ACCOLADE TO HIS IMPRESSIVE LIST?!?! THAT THE BELL AND JUAN CENA IS ON THE SHOULDERS OF JOHN CENA!!!! THAT’S WHAT HE CALLS THE AA, ATTITUDE AJUSTMENT!!! 1, 2, AND 3!!!!!! JOHN CENA IS THE NEW MRRRRRRRRRR. MAKE-A-WISH!!!! JOHN CENA A 1,500 TIME WWE CHAMPION AND NOWWWWW, MR. MAKE-A-WISH!!!! WHAT A NIGHT THIS HAS BEEN!!!!!! MICHAEL COLE SIGNING OFF FROM WHERE EVER THE FUCK THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!Rolled a 19 so I rounded up
John Cenarr
Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.): John Cenarr
Race: he's a professional wrestler
Bio: From West Newburry, Massachusetts, weighing in at 251 pounds. JOHN CEEEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAR
Skill: he can fuck your bitch and wrestle
Dan Junior x10000000000000000000 repairs the moon.
It appears that Dan Junior x10000000000000000000 abilities with his forehead are far superior to anything else in the world. Dan Junior x10000000000000000000 is able to repair the moon back to 99% of it’s original size. As a result, from earth, it only looked like someone had turned off the moon momentarily. This has happened in the pass due to the people of earth forgetting to pay their moon tax on time. When Dan Junior x10000000000000000000, returns to earth he lands on top of the Chefhalla V.2 and destroys it again because I need a crutch for this story.Rolled a 19 wtf
Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Name : Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Bio: The son of the son of the son of the son of the son of Dan Cheffington
Skill: Being Zeus.
Status: Pretty much Gohan
Dazzer fucks Jeckson and then goes fuck Robert with his army.
Jeckson obtains Daredevil from series' powers
THE EPIC SHOWDOWN HAS BEGUN!!!!!
Duzzer and Jeckson face off. Literally they look longingly at each other as if they were past lovers. That is not too far off the mark but I cannot really think of a backstory to this so I’m going to limit the exposition. Jeckson, with his Daredevilish abilities, starts turning like a fucking top because there are about 700 children around him that need to because fucked up. Duzzer takes this opportunity to try and fuck up a Robert who somehow doesn’t see the giant, brawl that is occurring literally 100 feet from him. Jeckson however stops Duzzer in his tracks with a beautiful kick that makes him knock a coffee into a lady. This woman, being the good, upstanding citizen that she is, kicks the shit out of Jeckson and his nether regions. Fortunately for Jeckson, Duzzer feels his enemies pain and beats the shit out of the lady. As a result, a police officer hauls Duzzer off to jail while his child soldiers look on because they are scared of the police for reasons that include their love of shooting random people. Jeckson crawls to the Chefhalla V.2 because he isn’t as smart as Pete. As a result, Jeckson is blown up again but doesn’t die because I don’t know how to kill off characters.. You’re both shit at 5 for a mister Dazzer and 7 for a mister Bondage.
Duzzer
Name : Duzzer
Bio: Duzzer was named after his son Dazzer
Skill: Can breathe
Race: ARC trooper
Status: Likes the breeze
Jeckson Duncold
Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld. He's brown as shit and insists he's italian or smth. This nigga's a lowly 5'8 giant. Made fun of for being a fucking midget. Also gay af
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol
Status: Blind atm
The sudden appear of the bear destroys Robert's erection so he decides to just leave and go wander around the harbor.
Robert, being the chill motherfucker that he is, just accepts that he has lost his boner and moves on to the harbor. It appears that a nice gentleman has stopped the army of the madman called Dazzer from fucking with him too much. Robert appears to see his long lost ex-girlfriend who he still has feelings because he was too much of a pussy to say to her that she shouldn’t go on a boat trip that takes her over the most dangerous part of the world, the North Korean Trench. He could have just told her and she wouldn’t have gone because she really loves him for his large eyes. She has an interesting personality.10 because you’re average
Robert McWottinson
Name : Robert McWottinson
Bio: Robert is a kilt wearing dwarf from Scotland. He lived in an orphanage but escaped because their food tasted bad. He then lived on the streets stealing, drinking and attempting to get any woman he could find in his bed. Robert is a bit stupid and loses his temper quickly and usually solves problems with his big fists. Although Robert looks aggressive, inside he has a big heart and wants to settle down some day. One night in Scotland he fell asleep in a bar and the next day he was in the middle of the Caribbean.
Skill: Being strong and Scottish
Status: More sex?
Oolong rests in Robert's bed to heal his wounds.
Oolong just chills the fuck out and rests in Robert’s bed, with those girls that have a bear fetish. I guess people have animal kinks sometimes when they are lonely and want to try something new. Oolong is pretty attractive for a bear I guess if somehow that makes sense. Great personalities can carry a person pretty far. Being ugly can really reduce a person’s chances. I really need a great personality or to be more attractive. One day. 15 is quite alright most times
Oolong the Champion
Name: Oolong the Champion
Race: Ursine
Bio: Oolong is an Ursine, born and raised in the thick of the Canadian evergreen forests. He is a huge fucking 10ft tall grizzly bear. He is a very territorial and he has a low tolerance for other races. His family was slaughtered at a young age by a group of Humans and Elves. He grew up despising their creations and their race.
Skill: Strong, Intimidating, Combat ready.
Status: A bit injuried
Pete attempts to tie a hangman's noose to hang himself with.
Pete skillfully ties the the knot for the hangman’s noose because he has done it so many times before. He steps on the nice stool that he uses in his attempts to kill himself. Luckily, superman happens to be in the neighborhood and saved our young character from killing himself for what seems like the 70th or 71st time. Good thing you can always rely on good ol’ superman! Pete on on the other hand goes about his ritual failed-in-killing-myself-again drinking binge at bar across from the Chefhalla V.2 as it has been subject to a lot of explosions over the time period of this RTD. I rolled two dice and got a 3 and a 17 so I just typed this.
Pete "The Merman" Gillian
Name: Pete "The Merman" Gillian
Race: 74% man, 26% fish.
Bio: Pete was born on a pirate vessel passing by Barbados during a storm, the ship hit an iceberg and sunk. Pete had held his breath for 6 entire days before he was found by the fishpeople residing in the shallow waters near the Windward islands. Instead of eating him like they did to most people, they raised him as one of their own and taught him how to grow gills and speak fishspeak. When Pete found out he was adopted he swam away from home and began a new life as a pirate. To this day, he is still looking for the iceberg that killed his family.
Skill: Breathing underwater and communication with fishes.
Status: Got a broken arm so...
Dan goes and finds the 7 Chefhalla Balls. It is said that when all the balls are gathered, the Great Chefhalla appears and grants a single wish.
Dan sets off on his great adventure but is immediately stopped by a man in a trench coat that looks suspiciously like Larry the lobster. This man claims that a certain Bikini Bottom resident, that is shaped like a cereal box and is made of sponge or is a sponge; he doesn’t really know what type of material or even if it’s a living thing but it has a fucking annoying laugh and it’s/his friend is literally retarded, has all the balls because they were sunk when the USS Chefingboat sunk in the storm of ‘47. Dan goes and finds his individual but is caught in a clever trap by what appears to be a snail with the intellect of a fucking genius. Whatever will he do?!?!? Find out next time on DRAGON BALL ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You rolled a 9 because you're shit
Dan Cheffington
Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.):Dan Cheffington
Race:Elf cuz they can cook
Bio:Standing at 6'1" and weighing 230lbs, he was a chef for only the finest palates in England and Wales. Then he traveled to Jamaca where he gets high all day, everyday. He is the finest chef in all the lands. It is rumored that his meals are even better when he is high as fuck.
Skill:Can cook and fuck your mom
Status: Pretty much Goku
