Once upon a time there was a handsome young general upon this land, called "The Duke".
The Duke's ancestors and parents were simple people: they worked in the mines and wandered the land for many opportunities. Despite this, they were happy.
The Duke wasn't like them: he wanted adventure and to explore the noble world, full of battles, drinks and women. Of course, a gentleman must be talented too. And did the The Duke find something.
A piano! What heavenly sounds will this young man make?
He sits downs and begins to play Schubert's "Ave Maria". What a pious Christian man! And he is quite talented too.
Of course, the world of pianos aren't the only thing meaning something to The Duke. He is quite fond of animals too.
In fact, he had a black mare from the army days he treasured so much. He even made a custom request for a saddle to make something truly unique.
The Duke was overjoyed at the sight of her: he got even closer to signify a stronger bond than ever.
"My beautiful horse! Who would ever dare to hurt you?" Said The Duke.
"Neigh." The mare responded.
The Duke was getting quite hungry, so he decided to bring himself upstairs and a cornucopia of his two favourite foods greeted him: goulash and original Russian vodka only from the best.
The Duke ate it all up without a word and was barely able to walk by the end of it.
Of course, horses are terribly distressed when their owners are gone for a long time, so The Duke made his way back to calm the mare down.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw his dear horse lying on the ground breathlessly with barely any meat on it's skeleton. He began to tear up and realized: he ate the horse's meat in that goulash without even noticing it.
Heartbroken, The Duke sat in a nearby wooden tub and cried: he cried so much, the tub filled up to almost half-full.
And that's when a something happened: The Duke transformed from nicely-dressed general to a shirtless sailor, only leaving him with a small knife and an axe.
The Duke was terribly confused: what happened and why did it happen?
The Fate had enough of these questions: The Duke was forced to move against his own will to a nearby rock.
His mind was powerless and a voice invaded his thoughts: "This is thy punishment f'r disobeying tradition. Thee shall attempteth to breaketh this rocketh with an axe until it breaks, but the rocketh shall nev'r breaketh. Thee shall beest doing this f'r an et'rnity. Th're shall beest nay day of judgement f'r thee."
And it began: The Duke raised his axe and striked the rock with it, but to no avail, because the rock showed no damage at all. And The Duke lived "happily" ever after , learning his lesson.
The moral of story? Never attempt to get out of poverty because you will be forced to do menial work for eternity. If your family is poor, accept that you will be too.
