Hi, it's me Puppytron.
You may know me as the greatest player to every grace this pitiful game but I've gathered you all here to deliver a confession of the utmost importance.
Every single one of you nerds have something in common, and I thought it high time I revealed the big, dark, veiny secret behind NW. See, if you're reading this post, I've had sexual intercourse with your biological father. There's no two ways around it, your father, my penis, our consensual and enthusiastically willing orifices. Before every NW player even knew what a mouse and keyboard was their biological father, present or not, was subjected to the tender affections of my large uncut phallus.
This may be hard to swallow, but if your father could swallow than so can you. You're all soul bonded by the fact that I've left a special part of me deep inside the prostate of your fathers. Somehow their learning and loving experiences with me has led their children regardless of their relationship to play NW. I honestly had no clue until you special little darlings started posting pictures of yourselves. You all looked just a bit too familiar, and I've come to realize that many of you are the spiting images of your fathers. A conglomerate of miniature versions of my past sexual partners. At first, I was baffled, confused, but as time went on I came to realize there's something truly special about our bond and it brings a tear to my eye to think one day when me and your fathers are all long gone, our fiery sexuality will live on deep, deep, inside you. A legacy of homosexual excellence. Rejoice my boys, rejoice in your true sexuality and soul bonds. Stop fighting each other, know that every time you call someone a faggot on BoB, that their father and your father both share the fact that they've been tenderly pummeled into an amorous heap of primal flesh by me, Puppytron.
Really what I'm trying to say is that I love all of you equally and I wish you nothing but to coexist peacefully and maybe mate with each other or some shit idk
thanks for coming to my TED talk
