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1

The Mess Hall / The ULTIMATE All Time North American Napoleonic Wars Melee List (300+ PLAYERS)

« on: March 11, 2020, 12:24:40 am »

Let me tell you something girls. I have had it, that's right, HAD IT, with these boring melee tier lists that make me want to fucking vomit. Recently, I have been seeking absolution for my crimes against humanity, and in this search my calling was finally discovered. What is this calling? It is to establish the final tier list to end ALL tier lists. No bullshit, no compromises (except my own of course xdddd), and once again no fucked up wacko shit. I consulted dozens of the previous lists, looked through my 7+ years worth of screenshots, and entered a deep state of meditation into order to put this useless debate into the grave. Considering that many of the players listed below have not played in years, as well as the meta having evolved over time, it was difficult to gauge the rankings, so expect many issues. Since this game is about to get fucking pummeled to death at last, I will now offer my totally unbiased and well-adjusted opinion on so many players that I can't even remember if some of them actually ever existed. Most likely missed a lot of you and criteria is virtually non existent but too much time has already been spent so FUCK IT.

To help my increasingly deteriorating mental state, I have employed the services of the Pineapple Express strain of cannabis and copious amounts of White Claw coupled with cherry Dr Pepper.

Each tier will have its group of players, though the players themselves will be in no particular order respectively. The data I have gathered is simply too much to withstand alone. You will almost certainly disagree with everything in this list, and that's ok because I do too.

TIER 1

"The Chads"

Spoiler

AsianP
Zorkoth
BillTheButcher
Jackie Chan
Mang
Havoc
RussianFury
Emo Celestia
Blade
MATT
Runepkyz
Ap0c
Pinoy
Fireboy
PJ
RitZ
Maple
Steven (63e)
Coconut
Godfried
Vortex
Dj Overjoy
Tico
KovyJack
Tammo
Achilles
Yoshie
Leroy
Krastinov
Ghost
Rafael
Swerp
Colonys
Mathias
Saltyy
Redrum
KOSJ
Zzehth
Alexander
Sven
Mitchell
Skinny
Anthony
GLman
Puppytron
DarthJezus
Chev
KillKan
Cade
Who-
PointBlank
GTAMan

[close]

TIER 2

"The Brads"

Spoiler

Ghostrider
Dante
Reeves
Koolaids
Silentman
Voodoo
Fancypants
Crazylegs
Wastee
John Sanders
Monty
Maniac
NickCole
Pancakessjr
VetroG
Fartknocker
Padre Suns
Killershark
MackCW
Professor
Hellomoto
Doc Holliday
ToxicFormat
MockingJay
Fallout
Ramelon
Jaax
Rex
Zappy (EU but he counts to me)
Sleek
Taehyun
Lithios
Xeroth
Cwater
5hine
Epix
Ramsey
Bladehawk
SirSpacey
Dutch
Antonio
Pepsi
Scopes
Breaches
Bick
Sharing
Polar
Ritz407
Blood
Ogrelord
Lice
BonJ
Dragonpuff
ZachAttack
Maccle
Yoloswag
Min (you have to be fucking joking LMAO)
Eastern Fox
Angel
Socrates
Theodin
Wall
Oatmeal
Squirts
Thundersnow
Presley
Amiranger
Grimsight
Moose
North
Horse
CsDerp
Pedro
Tizoc
Armada
Darkenmal
Serpenta
Gambit
Stoach
Ramzey
Griffith
Lurvy
Babyj
Fox
Knuckles
Glenn
Spade
Boomdigity
Mushroom
Lawbringer
Hawkince
Personality
Rogelio
Sexypizza
Dodge
Bishop
Boob
Marksman
Irish (I count for the NANWL success)
Jorge
Shinto
Dukers
JayPea
Janissary
Millander
CrumBum
Thom
Gavin
Redwall
Montoya
German Gunner
Lissa
The Kid from 45e
Mexicant
DomWorstNW13
PurplePanda
Roggeh
JacobT
Tmix
Varatoss
RedViper
DeadGeneral
Mattboi
Vicious (TRACKPAD)
Jaykro
Dane
Windlife
Walter
Dyre
Ryner
Kurskov

[close]

TIER 3

"The kids that formed a Bionicles club in Middle School but were still cool anyways"

Spoiler

Rever
Bunsley
Soap/Delicay
Cheeseypants
EmergingYeti
Ematopia
Bees Knees
Relux
Nevino
IB
Santana
Firez
Tacoman
Davos
SilentSniper
Sails
Goomba
Murderer
Creed
Wolfe
Aratrex
Ironstaunch
JollyCanadian
Death
Prozn856
LiquidSkorpion
Grimz
Andee
Sharpshooter
Wherner
Vinago
Clifton
Piktons
Phil
Superbad
Unitater
Aurumn
Spartan
Yubby
Carson
Supreme
Risk
Chantakey
Lionblade
Deadeye
Ody
SaintG
Exodus
PapaJohns
Chibbs
Strategist
Chantakey
Guapo
Zen
Heth
Karmavore
Operus
Doxy
Thompson
Owain
Stox
JDF
Fritz
Spiers
Evan
MadMox
Kory
Swift
Beanbean
Sandarian
Pooba
Pickle and Bondage (only together else they are poopoo)
DrByeBye
Vader
Vlad
Label
Windflower
Jakester
Rubes
Tempchar
Meltzer
Daniel the Chef
Bob (that one dude from the 63e)
Novapoison
Stryker
Tanner
Lips
Dio
James
Crafty
William
Baller
JimJeffries
Ponteismo
Midnight
Caribou
Offizer (Why the fuck not)
Thornor
Chemiespook
Xristo
Aaron
Element
Asuna
BulletCow
Luke
Curtis
Wardop
Stacker
Timeturner
GuiltyBishop
Slovakhiin
JihadiJay
Toucan
Mattbob
Deeshy
Jetch
Orcaryo
Pinkerton
Cosmos
Ragnar
Classydots
Siwi
Marceaux
Nappy
 

[close]

TIER 4

"Those poor saps who always sat at the corner of the cafeteria that are now married with three kids, overweight, make a low 4 figure salary, live in a 1600 sq foot home, deal with aging parents and yet have remained good at heart"

Spoiler

Brahms
Victor
Bakon
KingofAces
Korjack
Naens
Grey
Pyrivium
Mitchygitchy
Crocodile
Candee
Yooper
Wearhound
Nathan
Balthazaar
Wiki
Matlord
Schroeder
Predurrdurr
Father Vetro
EpicYoshi
Gluk
Godrod
Quake
Kristine
Badger
Spoonz
Spearman
Lawliet
Slif
Gandalf
Pizzaman4343
Dovah
GlacialGriffin
Rebel
Bahakawits
Cake
Connor
Karth
Punisher
Higgins
Portals
Daemon
Moraine
Bryce
Viper
Sleepy (Honorary 45e Inductee)
Peter
Whalefish
Titanium
Bauer
Ninjamain
Hundar
Pugglesworth
Tajima
Storey
Audiate
Duuze
Lonewolf
Hunteh
Becker
Macdonald
Praetorian
Kudelsky
Montfort
Kazz
Padre Vetro
Scottish
WOLFnPACK
Artista (he counts too)
Movement
Nico
Cytiuz
Ghostpig
GokuTheKiller
Amelia McKay

[close]

TIER 5

"The guys who still hang around their hometown, wear their high school ring, and rant about how they could have won state if the coach called play action"

Spoiler

Levy
Baptiste
Diplex
Babyg
Levy again
Mehstery
SirRoyalBeef
Twitchy

[close]

WORK IN PROGRESS!

2

The Mess Hall / Has Anyone Here Had A Decent Experience With Bannerlord?

« on: March 03, 2020, 08:11:49 pm »

Most of the people I've talked to that are in the closed beta have given me either negative or mixed reviews. The complaints  range from melee to optimization, so the issues at hand are rather diverse. It's very disconcerting to hear this from a game that has been in development for nearly a decade, so I'm hoping that there is at least some sort of positive feedback here. I understand that the opinions of this can vary, since what casuals and veterans consider "good" will differ.

Is there anything you liked?

3

The Mess Hall / Is It Ok To Still Eat Meat?

« on: February 21, 2020, 12:15:44 pm »

I have recently finished watching Earthlings and Dominion, both of which I struggled to trudge through, and they horrified me to my very core. The documentaries focus on animal agriculture across many countries in an attempt to showcase the injustices done to animals globally. If you play close attention to what happens throughout, it is difficult to turn away when the truth rears its ugly head. I could barely hold back tears as the footage showed cows, pigs, chickens, horses, sheep, and even camels (among numerous other species) be treated appallingly before being mercilessly slaughtered. Piglets were bashed against the wall and stacked a meter high, as their mothers watched, unable to move as their pens were too small. Chicks were put into groups of thousands, where they were all later grinded together in a petrifying display. Many of these workers showed little to no empathy for the animals that they killed, with some giggling and taking out their rage on the innocent animals. Along with a flurry of another emotions, perhaps the strongest thing I felt after their conclusions was deep disappointment. How can we let these moral atrocities continue?

As it stands, at least 200 million animals are killed every day for numerous purposes. That is 75 billion per year alone; an unimaginable number when put into a closer perspective. 97% of the products that contain animals come from factory farms. That being said, very few of them get to live out their lives, which is the least we could do. Many our slaughtered within their first year. These animals are bred and raised for the sole purpose of human consumption. There is also scientific evidence pointing towards all of these species having the capacity to feel pain and suffering. How much of this is necessary? How many tons of food that come from animals go to waste every year? Billions born, year after year, that do nothing but suffer horribly before serving our dietary pleasures. Unlike our pets, no major consideration is given for sentient experiences. They are the most disregarded beings in existence. I can now see why vegans draw comparisons to the Holocaust, as these animals are not treated with any compassion whatsoever, instead being disregarded as nothing more than hamburgers and eggs. They think and feel the same way as our beloved dogs and cats, and yet their toil is not counted amongst the majority of us. It's simply a passing thought, as I do not believe we can withstand the full magnitude of the events that take place every day.

As it stands, there is not much we can do on a national level, only an individual one. The dairy and meat industries, alongside numerous others, make too much profit for economies to consider moving away from them. The animal suffering will never be considered a top priority so long as we view them as nothing more than a resource. Enclosed, beaten, impregnated, and finally killed. What right do we have to inflict pain on such a gigantic scale? Prior to the 20th century, meat consumption was mostly done for survival; I don't if that can be said for now. Our pleasures are built on the backs of suffering that cannot be understated, and I'm not too sure how much longer we can collectively ignore this problem. If we can become so separated from our evolutionary counterparts in a way that inflicts pain on a catastrophic level, how far can we go before we finally draw the line?

4

The Mess Hall / Ranking All KOTOR 1 Companions

« on: February 20, 2020, 07:23:17 pm »

10. T3-M4

If he wasn't necessary for the advancement of the story, I would have excluded him. Seriously, unless you are going for a skill-centric group (WHY), he functions as a weak R2. He exists solely to open a fucking door into the Sith base, and literally nothing more. While none of this is exactly his fault, as he is a utility droid, they could have done SOMETHING else (except maybe selecting him for the Leviathan). 20 INT is good only if you value skills, which, for the average player you aren't going to put much investment into beyond persuade and repair. You can destroy pretty much any door, so security is never mandatory, and neither is computer use unless you love spiking. Anything he does, any other companion can do better AND be efficient in combat. Overall, T3 just doesn't bring much to the table in either strategy or story. Probably would have been better off being blown up while repairing the Ebon Hawk's power conduits. Luckily for this astromech, he is redeemed in KOTOR 2, but his initial appearance still leaves much to be desired.

If you enjoy humorous builds, T3 can be quite the tank, so he has that going for him at least.

Boop beep beep boop beep boop?

9. Zalbaar

I consider this one a Shakespearean tragedy of epic proportions. To begin, our furry friend starts off with massive STR and CON, making him an early game wrecking machine. Slap twin vibroblades with two-weapon fighting and watch him go to town. Being a scout gives him free implants, another useful boon for making sure his roles are put to good use. So, where does he go wrong? Unless you have him running like a fucking berserker into melee (even this does not work most of the time), or have him sit in the back with his bowcaster, he is going get annihilated past Dantooine. Considering his walking carpet status, Zalbaar is incapable of equipping armor, meaning his large CON stat isn't going to mean shit once the Sith acolytes start rolling in. Even if you heavily invested into CON early, it still won't account for much damage reduction to the simply fact of no armor. On top of that, his dexterity is also low, so say goodbye to any hope of him dodging anything beyond Kath Hounds. He just falls apart, and there isn't any reason to use him much when there are far better melee companions available.

Zalbaar serves little to no purpose to the story until you get to Kashyyyk (which is really the only time you want to bring him). Prior to this quest, any interaction with him results in him reciting his life debt to you, which gets really fucking dull. Depending on your order of planets, he could remain this way even halfway through the game and beyond. Of course, being the exile that he is, our Zalbaar spends the majority of his side quest being held captive by his brother while you go and look for their father, all the while desperately trying to remember which Wookie is which since they all look the same. Luckily his side quest is one of the more entertaining ones (unless you decide to leave him there), so he is saved from utter obscurity. Perhaps my strong dislike of Kashyyyk in KOTOR affects my view of him, but I will conclude that his placement is justified.

I must also add that your dialogue options during Zalbaar's quest make it far more enjoyable. Make sure to have him kill Mission if you go down the dark path as well.

8. Juhani

This character has always felt, at least to me, to be very awkwardly inserted. Upon your first playthrough, you might just be tempted to just cut her in half for those juicy dark side points. On the other hand, you can persuade her from the edge (btw how did she get a red lightsaber?) and gain a decent Jedi guardian. She isn't terrible, but she isn't really great either. Easily the worst of the Jedi batch that you can use, but that still makes her leagues above any other melee character. My main gripe with her is that she just isn't a particularly interesting character. Juhani represents the typical force user conflicted on her actions and past, all the while juxtaposing certain moral principles in regards to her emotional state. Her screwed up past makes for a decent setup, but the payoff is underwhelming. While it is hilarious to just have her kill Xor at the end of the side quest, KOTOR's heavy reliance on black and white morality make the either choice not particularly compelling. As stated above, she just feels out of place for the entirety of the game. An emotionally unstable force user usually makes for a good story arc, but this one falls flat. Beyond her occasional dialogue and quest, I can't say for certain on whether this character was something I would have agreed to putting into the game. If she were more emotionally conflicted throughout the many interactions you have (provided that you actually bring her along), then maybe.

7. HK-47

Perhaps my most controversial placement. Besides being of great comedic value and having a robust robotic personality, HK really doesn't add much else. Hell, just getting further along his quest involves you putting points into repair (which you need a lot of), and even then you probably don't want to be upgrading intelligence to help boost it along. Despite claiming to be great at butchering meatbags, he dies too fucking quickly and is outclassed by most of the other companions in virtually everything. Buying him is probably the least demanding of his quest, so long as you have done the swoop races on Tatooine. Can't recommend him being in the party unless you want entertaining dialogue and a massive boon towards lore, which might just be your style. I'll have to replay KOTOR 2 soon to see if he was any better.

He does have the best quotes in the game though:

Translation: He requires proof of good faith. We must make a contribution to his people that shows we are not a threat...shall I blast him now, Master?

Commentary: Your former pupil is brutal and efficient, even for an organic. I rather liked him when you first introduced me to him. If I had known what he would do to you, master, I would have gladly removed his entrails, right then!

Explanation: Two per cent probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master.

Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds.

6. Carth

[sOmEThInG SeEmS tO bE bOtHeRiNg cArTh.]

To me, Onassi represents the epitome of a Star Wars character just being outright fucking annoying. It's a shame since he is propped up be one of the Republic's heroes. Gameplay wise, he actually excels at his job of being a blaster user. Theres really nothing wrong with him when enough DEX is leveled, and his crit can come in handy in every part of the game. His involvement in the story is where he starts to grind my gears. At any given moment during the game, he becomes extremely defensive and inconsistent when it comes to the Mandalorian Wars, practically stuttering his way through the conversation. He then proceeds pulls a complete 180 when it goes on for long enough. This is followed by him giving you the silent treatment for an extended period. His romance option isn't great, and the revelation about his son just kind of comes out of the blue. It's almost as if Bioware forgot to give Carth a quest late into development, so they threw in the Korriban storyline last minute. (This is one of the more forgivable aspects of the character, as we really aren't given much else that would have made even the slightest sense). His conversational skills are a solid 3/10, as they unfortunately descend into one of the more poorly written ones of the game. If he couldn't fly the Ebon Hawk, I would have put him lower.

5. Canderous

This grizzled Mandalorian veteran is one of the more entertaining characters. Despite a terrible will save, he adds perhaps the most in terms of non-lightsaber users. A great start in terms of armor feats and vitality, with potential to use any blaster category to great effect makes him a good frontliner even without a melee build. His dialogue regarding war stories is actually quite good, though they can feel at times like an old man reliving his glory days. They can drag out for too long, and his quest isn't really all that great. You have to get a healthy amount of points into persuade in order to get the most XP out of it, and the alternative isn't all that climatic, so I'd save this quest late so you have the best chance of making the most of it. His banter with Carth and Bastilla is among the best, and sticks true to his word about being quite the bastard in terms of morality. Like T3, Canderous becomes much, MUCH better in KOTOR 2. It really isn't even a fair comparison, as he has evolved heavily into something far more fleshed out than before. Oh and he builds stims too, which is nice.

4. Mission

She could have easily been the whiny brat that Star Wars has the bad tendency to have in nearly ever story. Luckily, Bioware pulls off a kind-hearted companion who is memorable in every way. She differs from nearly every other character's cynicism with a more upbeat personality. Furthermore, she contrasts the often convoluted explanations someone like Bastilla or Carth would give, instead stating opinions on certain matters with more layman terms. It works surprisingly well, all things considered. Her character is a 14 year old thief caught up in the middle of a galactic conflict, and somehow doesn't collectively lose her mind (I guess Taris is just that fucked up). Her sneak attack and crits are also absurdly fun. If you get bored of a pure Jedi party and have to patience to develop another build, Mission can be by far the most unique blaster user. Although it does take certain situations to use her full potential, it's well worth it to see the turn play out in full. A much welcome change to the pure (and often bland) lightsaber combat that dominates the game from Dantooine onwards. She also doubles as a Pazaak punching bag, so if you enjoy Star Wars blackjack, she is your go to. I heavily recommended bringing her along for Kashyyyk, as she adds heavily to the dialogue in terms of Zalbaar's quest line. Fuck Griff though, he is lame.

3. Trask

He helps you through the Endar Spire, teaches you the basic fundamentals of the game, AND sacrifices himself to hold off Darth Bandon. What else could you want from a guy? Solid bro tier.

2. Bastilla

She doesn't stand out in terms of gameplay, but still a Jedi is a Jedi. Slap a fully upgraded flurry and watch her melt virtually anything that she comes across. Force powers are alright on her, but being a Sentinel and all, she is better off with a more balanced approach. Her dialogue is the most extensive of the companions, and is also the optional romance for the male character. Bastilla's development as a character is linked directly to Revans, so she really serves more as a secondary protagonist, the only companion to do so. She is rather doubtful of her own powers, thus leading to Malek causing her to crack. It's also funny to see her blush when the player presses her with certain dialogue options. Unfortunately, she can come off as a bit whiny, and while the player can poke at her insecurities about potential, it doesn't change the final outcome all that much. Her paths during either a Dark or Light playthrough are enjoyable (with the former arguably being better), as her character is one of the few that actually gets a full arc. Her side quest tugs at the heart strings somewhat, though it isn't anything extraordinary. Being hot is a bonus, so she's got that going too.

1. Jolee

The wise uncle of the group, who doubles as the most proficient Jedi companion. He has the best starting Force powers, most Force points, (with 17 more to go), and can excel at crowd control right off the bat. Being a bit of a Grey Jedi, his neutral opinions regarding the war and ongoing struggle between Dark and Light are wholly different from the rest. His years living as a hermit has given him more of a naturalist stance, all the while functioning as the best source of wisdom the game has to offer. Jolee's backstory, while probably littered with bullshit, is by far the most intriguing, as it offers a perspective on matters that Star Wars doesn't often dive too deep into. Having been disillusioned with the Jedi order after the Great Sith War and the death of his wife, he had resolved to explore the galaxy, eventually crashing down in Kashyyyk. While he is aware of what is at stake, he also doesn't consider our involvement to be the most important in galactic history. His side quest on Manaan is also leagues above the rest. Not only can you fuck the Sith over in the trial, but you are also presented with a difficult choice when faced with the truth of Sunry's guilt. It is well thought out, developed, and leaves the player conflicted on whether if it's better to stay true to their moral code, or to give false information for the betterment of the Republic. As if he wasn't already good enough, Jolee makes for the most entertaining choice on the Leviathan. Those Rodians make me giggle every time. It makes me sad to have to kill him when I do Dark playthroughs, but it a necessary step towards achieving galactic dominance.

Spoiler

[close]

5

The Mess Hall / An Apology To God, Country, and Community

« on: January 19, 2020, 10:00:44 pm »

Friends, family, citizens of the republic, I have come before you today to offer a sincere apology. In short, I am a fraud. That's right, I am the modern day Paul the Apostle. I have fabricated claims and stolen from other mythologies to help boost my intellectual ego. The illusion has been shattered, there is now nowhere for me to hide. I must be truthful with all of you. Do I feel shame? Absolutely not, for if my mind was to be shattered over the internet, I would most certainly be unable to function in reality (at a bare minimum of course). Like many who came before me, I am guilty of pushing an agenda I so very wanted to be true that separating fiction from truth mattered little. You could say that my agenda is simply to convince myself of my own personal failings. That they be so overwhelming to push me over the edge into falsities and fabrications. In fact, that might be entirely true. Do I want anything said to come about in reckoning fashion? Most certainly, humanity was gifted its chance to ascend over any other being and we have failed miserably. I will not say that extinction is on the horizon, but we will most definitely suffer for our arrogance. This apology may not be genuine, but the ramblings will continue nonetheless. This entire paper might even be said to be my final attempt at salvation, or maybe it's just a young man trying to convince himself that he is not entirely insane. After all, it is merely fruit salad!

Where did this start you ask? Well, to be quite honest I'm not entirely sure myself. The failing academic ability in middle school could be perhaps the first indication of my fraudulent beginnings, but it may go deeper than that. A collapsing life at home  could also be brought forth to blame, though that too may be lacking in credibility. Some strong sense of dread had overcome me soon after the death of many close to me, likely leading to the failing grades I had suffered throughout my initial education. Development in maturity could be said to have entirely halted during this era, as I no longer wished to put effort into much beyond eating and breathing. Why struggle to succeed in a world where so much is stolen from so few? It seemed so easy, and for a long time it was. When you stare straight into the dullness that is existence, it becomes rather difficult to take anything and anyone seriously. Take this with a grain of salt, but when the first thought that enters your head is to terminate your own existence, the line between decency and barbarity is blurred. Now, after all I've done, the pain caused and the lives ruined, why should you take anything I'm saying seriously? Well, you shouldn't, for why would you buy into stranger's ramblings on the internet that aren't even entirely theirs? The whole point of these papers in the first place was not just to convince the reader, but myself as well.

This may very well be the greatest contradiction to our existence. We so desperately want certain things to be true that we will sometimes go to extreme lengths in order to achieve it. The Christians wanted to believe that there is God and Satan, Heaven and Hell, sin and virtue, that they wrote myths borrowed off other myths in order to satisfy this urge. Why do we have children? In order to fulfill our biological urges and continue the endless game of gene preservation. Of course, we delude ourselves into thinking that it is more than that, hence the brain's tendency for imagination. This is what I initially set out to do, to disprove every notion of commonality we so preciously shared with each other. To see what our existence entailed in full light. The error I committed was being guilty of the very thing I set out to refute. Scammed myself into thinking that I was right, and they were wrong. As you can see, it seems I've dug myself into the same camp as the rest, concluding to be no different than every other pour soul that inhabits this blue rock. Previous postulations have led me to believe that the self-termination of our being is the only "logical" thing to do when this realization rears its ugly face.

Philip Mainländer, a relatively unknown philosopher of the 19th century, had theorized that our existence was the result of the Christian God's suicide. It is further explained that God had killed himself due to being overwhelmed by his own life. Unable to bear it any longer, the deity so steeped in human culture committed cosmic destruction to save himself from existence. The result is what we see here: the universe and all of its creation. However, Mainländer did not believe in God, so the work must be determined to be a massive analogy towards our own predicament. Theological interpretations must not be considered literal in this treatise, as Philip was most likely trying to replicate a universal experience under more familiar circumstances. Mainländer penned his work during his time as cuirassier in the German army, killing himself not too long after. He titled his magnum opus Die Philosophie der Erlösung (The Philosophy of Redemption), and details many of existence's misgivings. Most of the book has not been translated from the native language, but enough can be extrapolated to understand Mainländer 's core thesis: it is better to die as soon as possible. This conclusion, depending on your viewpoints, is either with or without merit. Even for the most pessimistic old fool of the flock,  Mainländer may be deemed to be too extreme, and rightfully so. Perhaps the most striking interpretation that can be drawn from The Philosophy of Redemption is that our slow spiral into maximum entropy is merely the universe redeeming itself for have being created without consent.  In his own words, “God has died, and his death was the life of the world.” Going further, Mainländer puts forth the notion that our eventual annihilation is not something to be feared, but instead an action that we should strive towards. In other words, mankind can only achieve equilibrium and redemption through extinction by its own hand. Every other action would have been in vain, for it is just another futile attempt to combat the void. However, we mustn't assume that Mainländer was preaching the truth here. Rather, it was merely another philosophical elucidation concerning these curious, anxiety-ridden chimps. Is Mainländer right? I don't know, you tell me. 

In short, why bother? The struggle no longer starts with getting out of bed. It has extended to the point where I'm not sure if the food or the noose has more appeal. I suppose you could call me a pseudo-Christian adhering to certain Buddhist principles. God is dead (well at least metaphorically), and our existence serves no meaning other than to cheat and lie till we are somewhat satisfied. This why I do these things; because I cannot simply fathom a reason as to why you would put 100% effort into something that contributes so little to annihilation. It's entirely possible that everything written above isn't even mine to begin with. Hell, it could be the suicide note of some poor sap in high school who struggled with a breakup. You can never be too sure right? This is what the mind does to us. When the circle completes itself, you are left with nothing but half-truths and delusions in an effort to convince the mind that all is well, and that everything will be okay in the end (well, in my case not really). This is what desperation does to the mind. If you value yourself and your time here, you will not grasp at straws to validate your own beliefs. You will be self-critical and thoroughly seek within yourself the questions that can and cannot be answered. Please dear reader, this realization of despair came before me all too late. I beg of you, don't be like me. Do not be driven by such a horrible thirst for affirmation that you steal and falsify. Be better than that.

6

The Mess Hall / Predictions For The 2020s

« on: January 18, 2020, 08:53:42 pm »

Never go down this path. MGTOW

7

The Mess Hall / Do not be fooled by Bernie Sander's bullshit

« on: December 25, 2019, 07:57:15 pm »

The man is selling a bill of fake goods. At best, he is bearer of empty promises and false hopes. Nothing will be solved with him as president, nothing at all. He hides his true demeanor under a thin veil of kindness and integrity. It is one of politician's greatest tricks; to fool the people into a false sense of security and progress. If elected, this old sod will quickly realize that barely any of his goals are even remotely feasible. The public will defend him at first, but turn sour soon after. They will realize the systematic delusion that has been thrust upon them by an old man playing virtuous. Nearly 3,000 years of human history has shown us that only violence will solve an issue of this magnitude. We have murdered, raped, pillaged and burned in order to accomplish our goals in an attempt to strive towards some odd conception of progression, and it unfortunately will happen again. Our biology (and the very nature of life itself) demands competition, its intentions and methods mattering little. He, and many others, labor under the delusion that we have bettered ourselves and that we can come together in our hour of need. Nothing could be further from the truth. If modernity has revealed anything helpful, it has showed us how strongly we despise one another.


Is he care for the common man genuine? I highly doubt it. After all, what sane man can observe the public and come to the conclusion that they are worth saving? The rational decision here would be to leave them to their own device. We cannot change herd mentality, as it has dominated the tribalism-esque thought process that drove us to become the food chain's top dog. With the technological advancements of the last 30 years, we have been able to express our thoughts and view each other in ways never thought possible. Here the horrible truth is realized, and that is we cannot improve, not without conflict. Behind every fake smile we concoct for society, lies a cynical misanthrope begging for strife and disaster. Bernie is perhaps the most obvious example of this. He and his supporters paint himself as some sort of saint who will save us from ourselves, when in reality he only seeks validation for the decades he has spent ranting at Congress for not listening. His intentions are entirely self-motivated. You have to be high or ignorant to want to save the people who have put you down for your entire political career.  It is the equivalent of caring for a narcissistic parent in their final days, all the while playing along with their false belief that they were good to you. 


If there is anything useful to do, it is to sit back and watch the country burn. Soon after, whatever is left will rise from the ash and attempt to take civilization and mold it anew. We sweep too much under the rug already, and soon it will be pulled right from under us. The house cannot stand, for every pillar was rigged to blow from the start. All of us are complicit in the corruption and moral failings of this world, and many will pay for it in the worst ways unimaginable. From here, we have too imminent possibilities: push on through hell or lay down and embrace the void. The choice is ours, although I doubt anyone will even acknowledge its very existence.  None of us can make an informed decision and expect to be satisfied with it. It will not come down to what we believe is best, but what will be regretted the least.


“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.”

~ Søren Kierkegaard

8

The Mess Hall / What in the actual fuck are we doing?

« on: December 09, 2019, 05:48:02 pm »

Like, seriously.

9

The Mess Hall / Inmendham and Efilism: Philosophical Genius

« on: November 15, 2019, 03:18:44 am »

We recognize that the welfare of all living creatures (be it a frog or human) are of equal importance. This is juxtaposed to speciesism, which values one animal over another. This concept is fundamentally flawed on many levels and is presented with a dose of the irrational. We were all born to be slaughtered. No sentient being is immune. Without humans, other animals will continue to suffer just like they have been for millions of years. The main difference between human and non-human species is our capacity to understand the futility of existence and right from wrong. We have the intellectual ability to see the meat grinder for what it really is. We are all in this rat maze together.

The best interest of humans are in conflict with nature. If we stay alive to try solving suffering in all organisms in the universe then we ourselves will be forced to remain in suffering. And we don't even know if its possible to solve all suffering, its not a guarantee. Is it right to force our own kind to suffer for an indefinite amount of time chasing a gargantuan and potentially impossible to solve task? What makes us morally obligated to complete such a task, the accident of our cognition?

The answer is simple.

Only by looking at the core of the psychology of sentient beings can you determine who's the biased one and who's the realist. Think about why the zebras chases any feel good moment. Because it would feel deprivation from not having those moments. Just like you. You think the zebra eats mainly for the taste? No, it eats because it's fucking hungry. Just like both you and the zebra are hungry for satisfactory moments. The core of the game is suffering and avoiding it as much as you can. We are addicted to being whipped less than usually. It makes wayyy too much sense when you consider that an efficient psychology in evolution isn't one that is happy. It's one that gets the job done. And for this, you need an animal that is motivated to do shit, never truly being satisfied. We exist to WANT to be happy/in peace, not to BE happy. And life constantly imposes suffering onto us, problems with have to deal with. The brain is a problem solving machine. It's a zero sum game, a scam.

This is where Gary, or "Inmendham" comes into play.

I largely consider this man to be a public intellectual to the highest degree. I have never seen a man that argues so efficiently for any sort of philosophical or ethical position as he does. His logic is irrefutable and cannot be argued against without resorting to fallacies of all sorts. There is no piercing his rationale, for it is the answer to our woes by adding finality to the existential dilemma.

Our nervous systems are hardwired to experience suffering far more than pleasure; both in intensity and duration. This brutal functionality of nature motivates all species to stay alive long enough to pass their DNA to the next generation. This would also explain why sex is so pleasurable. Life evolved to torture and to be tortured. We are all victims and predators. There is no justification for nature’s cruel design. It’s wasteful, needless, and causes suffering. As Gary puts it, “life is more friction than function”. With knowledge comes responsibility. We must be janitorial, not wasteful in our endeavor to eliminate harm. As far as the red button scenario goes, I wouldn’t press it unless it painlessly and instantaneously evaporated all life on Earth, from men to microbes. And only if pressing that button had a guaranteed failsafe that would prevent life from re-emerging.

10

The Mess Hall / Metallica Songs Ranked (1983-1991)

« on: November 06, 2019, 07:00:40 am »

I will only cover albums made at the height of their fame, primarily because most of the post The Black Album songs were either average or garbage.

Unmatched

1. One
2. Fade to Black
3. Master of Puppets
4. Creeping Death
5. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
6. Battery
7. Ride The Lightning
8. Seek and Destroy
9. For Whom the Bell Tolls
10. Enter Sandman

Legendary

11. The Unforgiven
12. The Four Horsemen
13. Sad But True
14. ...And Justice for All
15. Orion
16. Whiplash
17. Disposable Heroes
18. Blackened
19. Nothing Else Matters
20. Wherever I May Roam

Good

21. Hit the Lights
22. The Call of Ktulu
23. Escape
24. To Live Is To Die
25. Fight Fire With Fire
26. Trapped Under Ice
27. Leper Messiah
28. My Friend of Misery
29. Damage Inc.
30. Harvester of Sorrow

Average

31. The Thing That Should Not Be
32. Metal Militia
33. The Shortest Straw
34. The Frayed Ends of Sanity
35. Jump in the Fire
36. Anesthesia-Pulling Teeth
37. Dyers Eve
38. Don't Tread on Me
39. Holier Than Thou
40. Eye Of The Beholder

Meh

41. The God That Failed
42. Through the Never
43. Phantom Lord
44. The Struggle Within
45. No Remorse
46. Motorbreath
47. Of Wolf and Man

11

Other Games / A Total War Saga: TROY

« on: September 20, 2019, 07:16:25 am »

12

The Mess Hall / Fast Food and Shit 2k19

« on: August 29, 2019, 04:44:48 am »

Over the past year, I have gained approximately 83.6 pounds in search of the best fast food this great nation has to offer. With some competence, I hope to achieve a list that will generate much controversy, considering my tastebuds favor bad food.

13

The Mess Hall / Top Cereal Tier List of 2019

« on: August 26, 2019, 06:31:25 pm »

14

The Mess Hall / Top Twenty Most Overrated Songs

« on: August 14, 2019, 01:04:44 am »

These are by no means bad songs, but are way overblown in terms of their airplay.

20. Wonderwall
19. In The End
18. November Rain
17. Every Breath You Take
16. Viva la Vida
15. I've Got A Feeling
14. Black Hole Sun
13. Party Rock Anthem
12. Crazy In Love
11. Like A Rolling Stone
10. Closer
9. Sweet Home Alabama
8. Despacito
7. A Day In The Life
6. Gangman Style
5. Don't Stop Believin'
4. Bohemian Rhapsody
3. Stairway To Heaven
2. Enter Sandman
1. Smells Like Teen Spirit

15

The Mess Hall / Top Twenty DragonForce Songs

« on: August 12, 2019, 04:10:14 am »

20. Give Me the Night
19. Holding On
18. Cry Thunder
17. The Game
16. Seasons
15. Heart of a Dragon
14. Cry for Eternity
13. Operation Ground and Pound
12. Above the Winter Moonlight
11. A Flame for Freedom
10. Disciples of Babylon
9. Through the Fire and the Flames
8. Starfire
7. Revolution Deathsquad
6. Soldiers of the Wasteland
5. Heartbreak Armageddon
4. Valley of the Damned
3. The Last Journey Home
2. Heroes of Our Time
1. Fury of the Storm

Discuss.