Weejock McFiddle's Battle Report
Hello ladies and mentlegen, my name is Weejock McFiddles and i run the 8thMS. Many people know me as the ass hole that runs the 8thMS. The 8thMS participates in many a line battle throughout the week. Be it official or just for fun the 8thMS stand ready. There are probably many opinions on how the 8thMS play and also why we do as we do. Therefore i present my glorious battle log. Enjoy!
Also I decided that im too lazy to post pictures. Why, you ask? Because fuck you. That's why.
We start this glorious battle report with a small side note. IWelly (Col of the glorious 8 man lines that are the 5thNY) made Feldsau host this because he couldn't show up. Thank you Feldsau for helping. Also i pitched in and did the sign ups. For the geniuses that decided to bring two members of their regiment to the sign up. Don't do that. Its not like it makes you seem more important. Bring whoever is in charge period. After cranking ye olde brain cogs into gear i got the teams balanced and the event started. Small balancing problem as people apparently have no idea how many they are bringing. Teams balanced and then we actually started.
Round 1: This is the round where we spent damn near 5 minutes getting the new guys of the 8thMS and some random dickless incompetents to get into their proper lines as we were using dual lines that round. Then we walk up the Mt. Everest of fucking Warband to try to catch up with our one artillery gun run by the 13thBR that apparently broke the sound barrier half way up the mountain. As we reach the top of the hill, we accidentally the whole Union team. I ordered my regiment to fix bayonets and take as many as we can with us. As I assured myself that we were screwed beyond comprehension. Now the 8thMS managed to do sufficient damage to the Union scum so that the 13thBR could take over and finish them off. Just as the last 8thMS member hits the dirt, the massive cavalry unit that was the 1stVA(8 men) comes over the hill and charges the 13thBR.(around 15) Now the 13thBR would have won easily as they were in cover and in tight formation. Naturally the 13thBR were riflemen. Because in a match where we are facing cavalry they don't want bayonets. Now im assuming the grand plan was to either shoot them off their horses or mercilessly beat them to death with their rifle butts. Glorious plan. Except my guys can shoot better with bayonets fixed then the 13thBR can with rifles.(All hail the glorious 8thMS) The 1stVA charged and massacred them. Their captain was left took quite a few with him, I was 'mirin the sword skills. Then he died too. Win Union Scum.
Round 2: Last round didn't go too good and that Mt. Everest wannabe blocked the view of the Confederate spawn. So "about face and follow that horse's ass". We followed the artillery horse onto a hill and pulled a Union. Now I must stress that I did this because last round we kinda ate shit. I wanted to play it safe. So we started the fire, dug a latrine pit and started looking for a fresh water source. We camped the shit out of that place. Relatively un eventful. The Union scum tried hard to no avail. Win to the Glorious Confederate.
Round 3: Now this is where is gets tactical. For the first time in a while the two companies actually split up. As we left the spawn we moved towards the hill where the artillery was last round. We saw the union were taking up a position towards the back of the map. So we split up to try to create some form of cross fire. It seemed like a good plan. I must admit I was going to use the Southern Sentinels as a distraction and get them butchered, but being the lovely, kind and caring person I am, I felt that I had to be said distraction. So to try to give the second company a chance to take the one out of two positions on the hill. We ran up as a distraction and just plainly said "died a lot". The second company took said other fortification and commenced the fire fight between the two regiments. 8thMS did some fine shooting, other regiment didn't seem to be watching their screens. It was clear that if either regiment charged they would be obliterated. The 13thBR finished their business on the other side of the map. Then moved over to help the remaining 8thMS who had been whittling the other regiment down man by man. The cannon was set up and the one gun bombardment commenced. One cannon ball flew threw two Union scum to many a players disbelief. This furthered my belief that all union regiments are some how cheating. I have not figured out how yet, but my quest will continue. Win to the Glorious CSA.
Final Round: The map has now changed from random plains with Mt Everest on it to Maryland my Maryland. Now.You listening? IT IS FUCKING TERRIBLY MADE.(beautiful but shit) For starters that thing lags like fuck. Now most of you are thinking, "get a better computer" that's not what im on about. That map is made so badly that the sounds are 1.5 seconds to 2 seconds behind. Then on top of that they had to make the fences different. Damn man. Damn. You couldn't just leave it the way they were could you? Hurray for invisible walls. But i digress. Having no idea what i was doing considering i had never really played the map for more than 5 min I decided that moving out of spawn was a solid tactical move. I moved up to some fences so i could assess the situation. I saw the Union scum off in the distance. So I decided to hold. Now this was a pretty standard fire fight. People died on both sides. Everyone played nicely according to the rules. Oh wait. 3rd Louisiana tards decided that ramboing like no tomorrow would be their style of play. Spread out thinner than horse shit laying on a busy road. Fucking stay together next time. 2nd company went in and died i believe. Then we did the same. You would think that was the end of it. Then you have a geniuses of the 13thBR artillery. They had set up explosive crates in the back and tried to pull something clever. The only thing they did was kill one of their own and almost crash the server. I've been told to inform you tards if you pull that again. You wont be allowed back. Although i must say that you damn near redeemed yourself when a guy killed 2 people including Feldsau with a cannon lighter. Well done good sir. Win: Union Scum
PS. I must mention two things that happened in the Event on Saturday of 1/12/2012 the Union Army Line battle. We had one glorious artillery chap who apparently could move at speeds that would cause most men to void their bowels. So a good old fashioned well done to you Potus( sorry don't remember what reg). Also as the final kill of the final round winning the match for the CSA. I shot Lance with help of my manly-ass distraction of a engineer Luc.
