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Topics - Cwater

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About the Tournament

Cwater decided to host a one-day tournament since the draft league has recently ended. We will be doing a 2v2 format.

The tournament will be hosted Sunday (7/2 | Start time 9 est | Sign-ups close 8pm EST 7/2) with a group stage and having the top TBD teams in each group go onto the playoff rounds. The group stage matches will be ft5, the Semifinals, and bronze match will be ft7, and the Final will be ft10.


-Decent behavior is expected. No insults and no trolling of any kind.
-You must join the spectator if you are not in a match. Interrupting an ongoing game will result in an immediate ban for the player doing the troll and said player's team.
-Melee speed will be set to fastest
-Nations will be UK and France
-Only normal Line infantry. No Lights, no Guard, no Marines.
-The Bayonet is the only weapon to be used.
-A Round begins after both Captains have written Ready or R
-The use of RP Names is allowed, but you must include it next to your community name in the sign-up.
-The use of similar faces is forbidden. There has to be a noticeable difference.
-The maximum Roster capacity is 2. There will be no sub.
-No team with SouljaBoy on its roster will be allowed to play.
-The winning team will be given 2, $25 Steam gift cards.


Team Application:
Team Name:
Captain's Steam (Link required):
Roster (2 Players):
Do you accept the rules?:

Referee Application:
Community Name:
Steam Contact (Link required):

The Mess Hall / So You Think You Can List v2 (2022)
« on: January 07, 2022, 07:52:31 am »

Greetings and salutations to you, most cognitively well-endowed user of the FSE internet forums.

  The primary motivation of this list is to provide an accurate representation of the capabilities - or lack thereof - of the NA community as calculated by a highly qualified panel of NW specialists. This list will be updated at the discretion of the aforementioned panel - tentatively dubbed the 'American Special Panel for the Expounding of Relevant Game Experience and Ratings' or 'ASPERGER' for short - and will feature players actively participating in the current North American draft league. This panel features some of the most credible and highly-qualified NW experts as have ever been produced by the quagmire of competitive Mount & Blade, including:

Cwater - Is featured on several FBI, CIA, TSA, and Chipotle watch-lists.
Yoloswag - 20 ping, 10 braincells, 0 legs.
Horse - Personally touching the hearts, minds, and bodies of America's children since 2021.
Mikey - Mikey Gayborn of the House 98e, First of His Name, the Unplowed, King of the Anals and the First Men, Cockleesi of the Great MM Sea, Breaker of Pelvis', and Mother of Goomba.
Fartknocker- The King of the Noobs, Fartknocker, has been training new players and evaluating talent for years. The 63e Golden Boy is truly a shining light in the community. Players like Yoshie, Fireboy, and Hawkince all view him as one of the greatest players to touch the game. Written by Karth.
Goomba - Harnesses the power of ultimate cringe to smite down those less cringe than himself.

Now, without further ado, we at 'ASPERGER' humbly present you with the first of many lists to come; the North American Pre-season Groupfighting Rankings.


North American Groupfighting List


97.0 - Cwater
95.0 - Yoloswag
94.0 - Yoshie
93.0 - Jaax
92.5 - Mikey
92.0 - Anthony
91.0 - Horse
90.0 - Runepkyz


89.5 - VetroG
87.5 - Oatmeal
87.5 - Wastee
87.0 - Piktons
87.0 - RussianFury
86.5 - Gavin
86.0 - ghostrider7811
85.5 - Risk
85.0 - Svenypoo
85.0 - BabyJesus


84.0 - Godfreid
83.0 - SerWall
83.0 - Vertildr
82.5 - Hawkince
82.0 - RedViper
81.0 - Fireboy
81.0 - Theodin
80.5 - Stryker
80.0 - Vlad
80.0 - Rafael


79.5 - Pedro
79.5 - Magmar
79.0 - Maple
78.0 - Alexander
78.0 - TheAntidote
77.5 - Glenn
77.5 - HiReaper
77.0 - Killershark
77.0 - Goomba
76.5 - Cytiuz
76.5 - Jazz
76.0 - Dio
76.0 - James 
75.0 - Amiranger
75.0 - Achilles
75.0 - Fartknocker

74.0 - Noob
74.0 - Matlord
73.5 - Phil
73.0 - Winters
73.0 - Truth
73.0 - Wolfe
73.0 - Hunteh
72.0 - Cowlikenuts
72.0 - Cone
71.5 - SouljaBoy
71.0 - Copot
70.5 - Artanis
70.5 - LEVIS
70.0 - Chuckster

69.5 - WifiBills
69.0 - Jollycanadian
69.0 - VHA
68.0 - Suzuki
68.0 - Trexons
67.0 - CommanderDeath
66.0 - SteveUrkle
65.0 - Jorge
65.0 - Xethos
62.0 - AlexSnap
61.0 - Roach
55.0 - Hotspot
50.0 - Crazy
50.0 - Ben_ito257

*Keep an eye out for our up-coming Autism Rankings list, featuring the musings of the ever raucous raconteur, Goomba!

The Mess Hall / So You Think You Can List (Updated)
« on: June 18, 2019, 06:51:02 am »

Greetings and salutations to you, denizen of the FSEgames forum.

   As is known throughout the community of NW; lists are the fabric by which we are held together. They dictate our conduct, govern our memes, and give us infinite reasons to shit-post endlessly about a game which should have died years ago. They also serve as a stepladder to success. By ascending such a list you prove to your peers, both autistic and somewhat disabled, that YOU, and you alone, are the ultimate alpha-male. They facilitate a sense of pride and accomplishment, akin to that time your mother said you did really well in the kindergarten production of Hamlet, even though you were relegated to playing guard #2 as you couldn't even memorize the 2 paragraphs it takes to play Francisco, fucking Francisco, how the fuck could you not play Francisco you retarded piece of sh...

But I digress, so without further ado; it is my pleasure to present to you the first annual rendition of "So You Think You Can List"

(Editors Note: Lists and memes will be updated/added at the discretion of the drunk who wrote this, i.e me)

NA Duel List


(For purposes of clarification, the 'NA Duel List' will be tiered according to the top 5 hockey leagues around the world)

NHL (National Hockey League)   

  Anthony  (aka. Priesthony, AutoBlockthony, NoFapthony
  Cwater  (Cuntwater, Drunkwater, Cutewater)
  Godfried  (Goatfried, GodFraud, Rubbertree)
  Runepkyz  (Rune, Actual Chad, HOLY SHIT USE YOUR FUCKING MIC) 

KHL (Kontinental Hockey League)

  BillTheButcher  (BillTheBitcher, BillTheBenchwarmer, DramaQueenBill)
  Fireboy  (Fireboa, Fire-niggler [It's a word, no ban plx], Minority Report)
  Jaxx  (Wacc, Snacc, Bigboa)
  Maniac  (Maniwacc, Mani-never attack, Master up-baiter)
  Matt  (Chad-lite, KingCrony, Neanderthal)
  Rafael  (Weebaru, Weebarius primus, Least favorite Ninja Turtle)
  Suns  (S-key warrior, Succ, "Sun and Moon" by Jane Kenyon, 'Drugged and drowsy but not asleep' is how it feels to duel him)
  Vetro  (VetroGay, Whalestro, The Fridge)
  Wastee  (Wastee of oxygen, Wastee the Snake, Wastee of list space)
  Yoloswag  (Yolofag, Yolobad, Thinks he's black)
  Yoshie  (Yoshree, Saltshie, TREEshie)
SHL (Svenska Hockeyligan)
  Armada  (Gaymada, Popeye, The Spanish Armada...after it sunk)
  Horse  (Whorse, Another anime nerd, Mr. Ed)
  James  (Gaymes, Jimmies, Second blackest white guy on this list)
  Mikey  (Mikey Mouse, Mikey D, Mike and Ike)    
  NickCole  (N**Cole, Nickle, #1 Hillbilly)
  Oatmeal  (Goatmeal, OatBran, Honey Bunches of Oats)
  Pedro  (Pedo, Deportdro, Reason to re-elect Trump)
  Pinoy  (Pinot noir, Pinis, Pinnoyed)
  Piktonsss  (Pikshit, Piked first, Mr. Meta)
  Puppytron  (Crappytron, Tron at 25% speed, The Dog)
  Risk  (Takes no Risks, Discount Aslan, WHAT IS WITH ALL YOU WEEBS)
  RussianFury  (RussianFurry, YuriFury, Carried by LG/Atomic)
  Sleek  (Leek, Slick-Daddy, Toggles auto?)

AHL (American Hockey League)

  Amiranger  (Ami Schumer,, 2ndSAO alumni)   
  BabyJesus  (BabyJugs, Jesus Christ it's Jason Bourne, If mediocre had a name)
  Cytiuz  (Shityiuz, 7-0'edtyiuz, Sub-par Turkish keks)
  FartKnocker  (FartNog, Knock Knock where the kills, 63e Silver Boy)
  Gavin  (Gayvin, Gapin, Gavino Jose' Rodriguez Antonio III)   
  Ghostrider  (Casper the friendly Ghost, Bargain-bin Godfraud, Nicolas Cage is cute)
  Hawkince  (******, Hawk-kiss the fist, Proof that ethnic-cleansing is justified)
  Maple  (Raple, Gayple, Aunt Jemima's)
  Mexicant  (Mexicunt, Mexi-can't block, ICE ICE baby)
  RedViper  (NoMedsViper, 2nd worst AfterShock, Watermelon <--- Ya'll GOT homies get it)
  Rever  (Senorita Rever, Por favor el taco, God damn there are almost as many Mexicans as weebs)   

SM-liiga (Finnish Elite League)

  Double  (Double-downs syndrome, Double the chocolatey trouble, Movement keys? Fucking movement keys?)  
  Firez  (Autism, Autism, Seriously why tf did I pick you in 4v4 league you fucking reta...he's aight)
  Glenn  (Glenn Beck, Shady Glen, Mr. YT Money)
  Goomba  (Goombae, Goombad, Goomba STOMPED)    
  JerryO  (Jerry O'Face, Ben and Jerry's, That guy with EU ping)
  Moraine  (LadyMoron, Moraine in the membrane, Not so closet weeb) 
  Nappy  (Napster, Napkin, The Squid)
  Sanders  (Sanders CleGayne, Sandy Hook survivor, That one black kid who is actually capable of stringing together intelligible sentences)
  Winters  (Weedters, Biblethump, Jesus Christ Superstar)

Mites (8 and under)

  Chantakey  (Chanta***, Pride of Southern incest, Beagle-Fucker Inc.)
  Irish  (4,845,525 Irish lads and lassies; 1 potato, VERY discount Liam Neeson, Irish’s How To Guide to S-keying With an Entire Regiment: For Dummies)
  JollyCanadian (Whachu talkin aboot, JollyRancher, Le Canadien)
  PapaBean  (Daddy, Flicked my Bean, Killer Bean Forever 4k)
  WindFlower (WaterFlower, WankFlower, Where my signatures at fuckboi?)


   = Player moved up/trending upwards
   = Player moved down/trending downwards
= New Addition to the list

*ATTENTION: This list is by no means finished/a work-in-progress and will be updated once my buzz has worn off. In the meantime, feel free to throw shade and babyrage at your leisure. Please be advised that this list was painstakingly handcrafted by a platoon of slave-monkeys to ensure maximum triggering.*

Whilst you anxiously bide your time waiting to see where you will be placed on the list, keep an eye out for our upcoming list features!

Including (but not limited to)

   "NA Autism Rankings"

   "Alex Jones Anime Quotes: Rated by Song"

   "Pringles Flavors Tier Listings"

Have a delightful day!


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