Dan Junior goes insane and kills everyone in his horizon.
Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior arrives on the planet and immediately attempts to destroy the world. He trips and falls on the giant ass lightening bolt that he was making to end the universe. Dan Junior falls into a comatose state due to the huge ass lightening bold wounding him. Though his body is not able to express the wishes of his mind, Dan continues to dream of the day that he will be able to kill everyone in the world. You have shit luck fam. Rolled a 2.
Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Name : Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Bio: The son of the son of the son of the son of the son of Dan Cheffington
Skill: Being Zeus.
Status: In a coma. Can't do anything physical for one update.
Dan goes to the store to buy a cook book. He then goes and finds a place to be employed.
As soon as Dan Cheffington steps off the drop ship, he is assaulted by a 14 muggers. He loses all his money and is badly injured in the attack. Thankfully a good Samaritan comes to the aid of Dan and helps him with his wounds. This turns out to be a ruse when the good Samaritan turns out to be mugger 15th. Dan has nothing more to give so the 15th mugger just boots Dan in the face and leaves him in his own blood. While Dan is not going to die, he is seriously injured. Shit luck for you too fam. You rolled a 3.
Dan Cheffington
Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.):Dan Cheffington
Race:Elf cuz they can cook
Bio:Standing at 6'1" and weighing 230lbs, he was a chef for only the finest palates in England and Wales. Then he traveled to Jamaca where he gets high all day, everyday. He is the finest chef in all the lands. It is rumored that his meals are even better when he is high as fuck.
Skill:Can cook and fuck your mom
Status: Literally almost dead. You have limited abilities for the next update.
IT'S NIGHT.----- arc trooper yells at the trash can and goes to sleep
Duzzer goes to sleep in the trash can. Whilst he is asleep, Duzzer is robbed of almost all his money. When Duzzer awakes from his nap, he also discovers a note from the 15th mugger who was again later to the party. The note reads:
Dear Retard,
Fuck you and have more stuff.
Love,
The 15th Mugger. xoxo
Duzzer now has limited funds and his can smells of piss.
You also have shitty luck fam. You rolled a 4.
Duzzer
Name : Duzzer
Bio: Duzzer was named after his son Dazzer
Skill: Can breathe
Race: ARC trooper
Status: Smells of piss.
Oolong the Champion roars a mighty roar, directed at everyone in the cruise ship.
Oolong roars his mighty roar and is told promptly to shut up by a street vendor who looks a lot like Betty White. Being the racist that he is, Oolong charges at the Street Vendor who looks a lot like Betty White. However due to everyone's shitty luck, Oolong falls on his face and is laughed at by a lot little children. Oolong runs fair away from the dropship port and into the city to avoid further embarrassment.Okay so I think the dice are rigged because I rolled another 4.
Oolong the Champion
Name: Oolong the Champion
Race: Ursine
Bio: Oolong is an Ursine, born and raised in the thick of the Canadian evergreen forests. He is a huge fucking 10ft tall grizzly bear. He is a very territorial and he has a low tolerance for other races. His family was slaughtered at a young age by a group of Humans and Elves. He grew up despising their creations and their race.
Skill: Strong, Intimidating, Combat ready.
Status: Embarrassed
Robert takes a look outside and scratches his balls.
Robert yawns and successfully scratches his balls. He catches the eye of a Twi'leks and thinks to himself that one day, if he trains hard enough, that he may make it to the Olympics in 50kg Ballscratching.You rolled a 13 you lucky motherfucker.
Robert McWottinson
Name : Robert McWottinson
Bio: Robert is a kilt wearing dwarf from Scotland. He lived in an orphanage but escaped because their food tasted bad. He then lived on the streets stealing, drinking and attempting to get any woman he could find in his bed. Robert is a bit stupid and loses his temper quickly and usually solves problems with his big fists. Although Robert looks aggressive, inside he has a big heart and wants to settle down some day. One night in Scotland he fell asleep in a bar and the next day he was in the middle of the Caribbean.
Skill: Being strong and Scottish
Status: Confident
Glastrom goes to the nearest pub.
Glastrom heads off to the pub across the street. There he orders a pint of their best ale and chugs it almost immediately. He spots a lovely dwarven woman by her lonesome but then hears the greatest sound in the world, a bell ringing. This means that 5 more rounds are in order, everyone's getting free drinks.
Rolling a 17 isn't too bad.
Glastrom Gnash
Name: Glastrom Gnash
Race: Dwarf
Bio: He was born in The Bahamas and his father was a big greasy man who hit his wife and abused his son. However, from this, Glastrom Gnash learned to be strong. He had no education and, when he was 16 years old, he ran away with the night with everything that he had (namely a sword, rugged clothes and a picture of his mother). His dad chased him down with a baseball bat bue Glastrom was faster than his dad. He travelled to Port-au-Prince in Haiti, where he joined a pirates crew. He lost his eye in a battle and soon became the right hand man to the Captain of the ship and when the Captain died, he rose to become the leader of a ship. Many years later, when Glastrom was 32 years old, he was defeated in battle with the British and captured. He was tortured, his crew imprisoned and his ship burnt. He managed to escape and ever since, now 34 year old, gets wasted in pubs every night.
Skill: Very strong and loves drinking
Status: He's starting to quench his thirst.
Durin goes to sleep
Durin finds a lovely spot for a nap. When he awakes, he finds that 14 muggers are dead around him and his axe is moistened with blood. He appears to have killed these poor defenseless men in his sleep. Oh well. Their loot is his now.Rolling an 18 isn't too bad.
Durin Ironfist
Name : Durin Ironfist
Bio: Durin is a dwarf from the mountains. He has money. He has a big axe. He knows how to use said axe. He has money. He has gold and shit because he's a dwarf.
Skill: Blacksmith
Status: Getting that money and looking for those hoes
