I'd like to add we despise this behaviour so much because it doesn't do any good for the game.
New people join regiments lead by these kind of people, and what do they see? Power hungry manchildren. They then conclude regiments are run by idiots and either: join servers like NRP or Minisiege and mock regiments, or leave the game completely.
This mass of crappy people are killing the game, they always have. This is what makes us so 'xenophobic'.
Again, I feel like there is a lot of generalizing here. Some people may have had a bad experience with the competitive regiments and deem the regimental experience as not worth their time. Well, as sad as it is, that's on them for not taking the time to look for something which suits them better. On the other side of the spectrum, many of the players who try out competitive NW stay active because they enjoy it. Yes, some of them are driven by the eager to prove themselves on a online video-game and may or may not turn into complete cunt in order to reach such a position. But many others just enjoy the feeling of competing for something, the pressure coming with it because there is something at stake, as little as it is, or the satisfaction of building something from scratch, training new members and turning them into players capable of rivalling with some of the best veterans of the current NW community.
That is why I feel claiming that the competitive community is what's killing the game sounds really wrong. I would argue it contributes to keeping it alive, the same way the many but mostly anonymous casual regiments do. However, I don't have your experience of the game so it's probably why I don't see things the same way as you do.
With that being, I have huge respect for people who prefer focusing on casuals as it represents a challenge and surely not an easy one. For the reason, I can totally get behind the 'we are priding ourselves with this particular approach'. Netherless, I don't believe it's required to 'hate' on the other side to be proud of your own way of doing things. This obviously goes both ways, as many so-called competitive players freely hate on the casual community without having a single clue about what it really represents for NW. Worth noting not many are as mature as you to discuss it.