The Great Fantasy Pirate RTD

[BabyJesus]

Dan uses his recent beatdown as motivation and turns into a super saiyan and beats Vegeta to death. He then cooks Vegeta's body into a meal.

[OttoFIN]

Robert looks at the bar and is very confused by the recent events and decides to go wander around the harbor/dock/something.

[Dazzer]

Duzzer shows his *super secret wep* to Oscar and Bert and tries to scare them.

[DoctorWarband]

Dan x10000000 is tired of being unconscious too and becomes a fully awake super sayan. 

[The Mighty McLovin]

Glastrom decides that he wants to do something with his life for once - he takes the person to his right's drink and walks out of the bar, looking for a rich person to rob.

[BabyJesus]

Dan x10000000 is tired of being unconscious too and becomes a fully awake super sayan.

you can't go super saiyan. Your not even a saiyan

[Commander Bondage]

Jeckson wakes up from his slumber and tries to knock this Oolong kid back into unconsciousness

[DoctorWarband]

Dan x10000000 is tired of being unconscious too and becomes a fully awake super chefyan.

you can't go super saiyan. Your not even a saiyan

Happy?

[BabyJesus]

Dan x10000000 is tired of being unconscious too and becomes a fully awake super chefyan.

you can't go super saiyan. Your not even a saiyan

Happy?

your not a chef either

[DoctorWarband]

Dan x10000000 is tired of being unconscious too and becomes a fully awake super chefyan.

you can't go super saiyan. Your not even a saiyan

Happy?

your not a chef either

Yes I am, my race is Chef

[Gamboji]

Pete attempts to knock the mounted fish unconscious and or bring him to a nearby cave to interrogate and waterboard him for information.

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Ok boys I'm back. So I'll make an update like later today sometime.

[BabyJesus]

Ok boys I'm back. So I'll make an update like later today sometime.

go away

[Glenn]

Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.): John Cenarr
Race: he's a professional wrestler
Bio: From West Newburry, Massachusetts, weighing in at 251 pounds. JOHN CEEEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAR
Skill: he can fuck your bitch and wrestle

[Dan the Seagull Chef]

Dan x10000000 is tired of being unconscious too and becomes a fully awake super sayan. 

 

Dan uses his recent beatdown as motivation and turns into a super saiyan and beats Vegeta to death. He then cooks Vegeta's body into a meal.

Dan finds Dan x10000000 unconscious during his and realises that he will be more successful with the help of his great x10000000 grandson. Dan is able to wake go Dan x10000000 and both go Super Saiyan. When they see Vegeta, Vegeta declares that Dan’s power level reads, “Fucking high,” while Dan x10000000’s reads, “Actually Zeus.” The two battle Vegeta for what seems like an eternity in TV time but in actuality is closer to like 2 and a half minutes in reality. D squared prevail through his use of a combination of Chefehameha and Future Trucks. Vegeta is able to escape however and will return in 37 episodes after another power increase. Dan and Dan x10000000’s new found fame gives them plenty of movie roles and lots of attention for Chefhalla V.2.
Wtf is luck. You both rolled 18s.

Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior

Name : Dan Cheffington Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior
Bio: The son of the son of the son of the son of the son of Dan Cheffington
Skill: Being Zeus.
Status: Pretty much Gohan

[close]

Dan Cheffington

Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.):Dan Cheffington
Race:Elf cuz they can cook
Bio:Standing at 6'1" and weighing 230lbs, he was a chef for only the finest palates in England and Wales. Then he traveled to Jamaca where he gets high all day, everyday. He is the finest chef in all the lands. It is rumored that his meals are even better when he is high as fuck.
Skill:Can cook and fuck your mom
Status: Pretty much Goku

[close]

Robert looks at the bar and is very confused by the recent events and decides to go wander around the harbor/dock/something.

Robert is confounded by the commotion at the the bar/Chefhalla V.2 and decides to have a nice walk around the harbor. While on his walk, Robert is mobbed by the friends of the women who slept with Robert. While many in the crowd are 5s and 6s, there are a few 9s and even a 10.
Lucky motherfucker. You rolled a 17.
 

Robert McWottinson

Name : Robert McWottinson
Bio: Robert is a kilt wearing dwarf from Scotland. He lived in an orphanage but escaped because their food tasted bad. He then lived on the streets stealing, drinking and attempting to get any woman he could find in his bed. Robert is a bit stupid and loses his temper quickly and usually solves problems with his big fists. Although Robert looks aggressive, inside he has a big heart and wants to settle down some day. One night in Scotland he fell asleep in a bar and the next day he was in the middle of the Caribbean.
Skill: Being strong and Scottish
Status: More sex?

Spoiler

[close]

[close]

Oolong decides he's been unconscious for long enough and wakes up.

Jeckson wakes up from his slumber and tries to knock this Oolong kid back into unconsciousness

Oolong and Jeckson wake up at the exact same moment. Seeing each other, they freak the fuck out and begin trying to kill each other. In a test of strength, as all good wrestling matches start, Oolong and Jeckson are even until a crazed SJW, would was offended by Jeckson’s pedo stare, starts to mace Jeckson. She was unable to stop her motorized wheelchair however due to her momentum because she was heavy as fuck. The SJW runs over Oolong and seriously injuries him due to her great weight. Jeckson fares slightly better and is only blinded. After seeing her good work, the SJW decides that she has spread the good word of equality and feminism and goes to McDonald’s.
The world is fucking you atm. Oolong rolled a 1 and Jeckson rolled a 3.

Oolong the Champion

Name: Oolong the Champion
Race: Ursine
Bio: Oolong is an Ursine, born and raised in the thick of the Canadian evergreen forests. He is a huge fucking 10ft tall grizzly bear. He is a very territorial and he has a low tolerance for other races. His family was slaughtered at a young age by a group of Humans and Elves. He grew up despising their creations and their race.
Skill: Strong, Intimidating, Combat ready.
Status: A bit injuried

[close]

Jeckson Duncold

Name :Jeckson Duncold
Bio: His great great great granpapi was a pirate that sailed the seas of some diff. world and he wanted to be just like his granpapi Jackson Dunkeld. He's brown as shit and insists he's italian or smth. This nigga's a lowly 5'8 giant. Made fun of for being a fucking midget. Also gay af
Skill: Good with a sabre. Adept with a pistol
Status: Blind atm

[close]

Duzzer shows his *super secret wep* to Oscar and Bert and tries to scare them.

Duzzer takes out his dick and shows it to Oscar and Bert. The part, thinking he’s a hardman(literally and metaphorically), take off. They leave Ernie for Duzzer along with their possessions.
Not bad. You rolled a 13.

Duzzer

Name : Duzzer
Bio: Duzzer was named after his son Dazzer
Skill: Can breathe
Race: ARC trooper
Status: Likes the breeze

[close]

Glastrom decides that he wants to do something with his life for once - he takes the person to his right's drink and walks out of the bar, looking for a rich person to rob.

Glastrom takes a drink from the person from his right. That is the last thing that he remembers because he took the drink from Superman who is not pleased by this action. Superman precedes to make many shapes out of the unconscious Glastrom’s body. Some of these shapes were quite unnatural but looked cool so no one tried to stop Superman. Well that was one of the reasons that spectators claimed.
You rolled a 2.

Glastrom Gnash

Name: Glastrom Gnash
Race: Dwarf
Bio: He was born in The Bahamas and his father was a big greasy man who hit his wife and abused his son. However, from this, Glastrom Gnash learned to be strong. He had no education and, when he was 16 years old, he ran away with the night with everything that he had (namely a sword, rugged clothes and a picture of his mother). His dad chased him down with a baseball bat bue Glastrom was faster than his dad. He travelled to Port-au-Prince in Haiti, where he joined a pirates crew. He lost his eye in a battle and soon became the right hand man to the Captain of the ship and when the Captain died, he rose to become the leader of a ship. Many years later, when Glastrom was 32 years old, he was defeated in battle with the British and captured. He was tortured, his crew imprisoned and his ship burnt. He managed to escape and ever since, now 34 year old, gets wasted in pubs every night.
Skill: Very strong and loves drinking
Status: Unconscious and sore 

[close]

Pete attempts to knock the mounted fish unconscious and or bring him to a nearby cave to interrogate and waterboard him for information.

Pete walks over to the mounted fish and starts to beat the shit out of the fish but it turns out the fish is a 3rd Dan Blackbelt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Pete is caught in a triangle choke but being 26% fish, it doesn’t work on him. So the mounted fish switches to an armbar and breaks Pete’s arm. The mounted fish leaves Pete with his broken arm and bounces away.
Mhm. You rolled a 4

Pete "The Merman" Gillian

Name: Pete "The Merman" Gillian
Race: 74% man, 26% fish.
Bio: Pete was born on a pirate vessel passing by Barbados during a storm, the ship hit an iceberg and sunk. Pete had held his breath for 6 entire days before he was found by the fishpeople residing in the shallow waters near the Windward islands. Instead of eating him like they did to most people, they raised him as one of their own and taught him how to grow gills and speak fishspeak. When Pete found out he was adopted he swam away from home and began a new life as a pirate. To this day, he is still looking for the iceberg that killed his family.
Skill: Breathing underwater and communication with fishes.
Status: Got a broken arm so...

[close]

John Cenarr arrives on the New New Providence to complete his mission of being the best wrestler and “good guy” in the whole universe. He sees a kitten in a burning tree which is guarded by the AntiChefs, Cinderella and Jasmine. John beats the shit out of them and climbs the ladder to retrieve the kitten and a Money in the Bank briefcase which he can use to cash in for a shot at the WWE Universal Championship in a location of John’s choosing. 
Why is the die so positive today? You rolled a 16.

Name (Anything, really, but preferably pirate-y.): John Cenarr
Race: he's a professional wrestler
Bio: From West Newburry, Massachusetts, weighing in at 251 pounds. JOHN CEEEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAR
Skill: he can fuck your bitch and wrestle