Confession thread

[Wismar]

This is a forum game were you confess a sin and then the person below you must decide if GOD the almighty will forgive you.

You then come up with tips and tricks on how to make the person above you improve.


Example: I feel abandoned after I've taken a shit.

Can God forgive me?
And how can I improve?

This might be confusing, I know!

[Turin Turambar]

I don't think god will forgive you. What you did is too evil and perverted.

But for next time, you should maybe think about how much luck you have that you are at least able to take a shit.
There are for example hungry children in africa who can't do so, because of they don't have anything for eat (=>no taking a shit).

Next sin: I have been supporting a troll on the cav groupfighting last night.

[Landrik]

God will forgive you for it is the natural way to dick around on Mount and Blade no matter what mod it may be.

I fell asleep watching porn last night and it has been a repeatable offense. Will our Lord forgive me?

[Colonel Howe]

The lord forgives all my son. It depends which kind of porn you were watching. If it was gay porn, the lord forgives. If it was dominatrix involved, the lord does not

I trolled my teamspeak by playing lesbian porn through my mic. Will the Lord forgive me?

[Turin Turambar]

The lord will forgive you, because everyone enjoyed this session. And he also likes lesbian porn, ofc.

Let's go on with porn: I often end my porns before the real ending. So I don't respect the honorable actors. Will the Lord forgive me?

[Wismar]

The lord will forgive you since most people hate their jobs and they work their asses off.
Pornogarphy actors have a too good jobs to be respectable.


I once jerked off to Facebook, will god have mercy on my soul?

[Pinball Wizard]

God will not forgive that sin. That's just fowl.

I have posted on this thread. Will god forgive me?

[Bastard]

Never, you will burn heathen!

I masturbated so hard my penis bled, will God forgive me?

[Reginald Schneider]

Yes, he greatly enjoyed watching you.


I left Islam, will Allah forgive me?

[Turin Turambar]

No, he noticed you stopped the sexistic/perverted spree on this thread, so he won't.

I wanted to imitate Schwanzschneider and cut his penis off. Will the Lord forgive me?

[MagicTeatowel]

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD" - Actual line from the King James Bible.

You will never enter a church again D:

I once did a fart in a church     

[Landrik]

You will only be forgiven if it wasn't that loud or was not rank as fuck. Otherwise you will forever go through hell with a wad up yer butt :c

I sometimes make a nest of wool and gear to lie in. Does this craft upset our Lord?

[Sweeney]

Yes, this heathen construction must be smited!

I once told a friend of mine that his mom called- he ran to his phone (somewhere else)...Then I ate his cake...(It was delicious).

[Turin Turambar]

If the cake was really really very much delicious our Lord will forgive you.

Once (5 years ago or so) I borrowed a book from a friend of mine. I never brought it back, I was too lazy.

[Nipplestockings]

The lord will forgive you if it was a shitty book. In that case you did a good thing by taking it off his hands.

I once engaged in an actual circle jerk when I was very, very intoxicated. Will the lord forgive me?