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Topics - Batraan

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16
Post the wierdest laws you know of from anywhere in the world.

Max 1 laws per post.

In Florida it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine........WHY DO THEY NEED THAT LAW WHAT IDIOT WOULD DO THAT  :o SERIOUSLY..... I have no faith in humanity now.

17
The Mess Hall / Epic meme/gif thread
« on: April 15, 2015, 04:02:08 am »
Rules
ONE meme/gif per post
WAIT at least 10 minutes between posts of memes/gifs and discuss the memes/gifs that have appeared in the meantime.


18
The Mess Hall / Soprano Wars.
« on: April 03, 2015, 03:52:50 am »
All credits for this go to Thundersnow.


Mount and Mafia: Soprano Wars





After ten years in the making, I am proud to announce the new upcoming release of "Mount and Mafia: Soprano Wars", a mod for Mount and Blade:Warband!

A lot of time and effort went into making this mod, and we all hope you enjoy it!!!



The Story

You will be a soldier for the main crime family in New Jersey, and will be under command of "Tony Soprano", the lead figurehead in the Soprano crime syndicate.  Below him are the Made Men, the "Capos".  These are the men you will be taking orders directly from.  They are reminiscent of "Regiments" "Legions" "Guilds", etc. and all report directly to the Main Man.

Starting the game, you will be able to choice from between 5 different bloodlines, all traceable directly back to the motherland.  This allows the player to climb the ladder of criminal success all the way to the top!  Those who wish to be on the outside looking in, without pure Italian bloodline, will be pleased to hear that this feature will be available in an upcoming patch.




You begin the game with a thousand dollars, a Cadillac (color of your choice!), a fully loaded .45, a wife, 2.5 children, a goo-mah, an addiction (of your choice!) and a crippling gambling debt.

As a Flunky, you do the odd jobs.  Gettin' the chief a cup of coffee from around the corner.  Running numbers.  Operating Craps games out of dingy backrooms and holding dimly lit card games in the backs of business fronts.

Once you reach a total sum of $60,000, you gain the attention of a higher up and are promoted to Soldier.

As a Soldier, you report directly to your Capo, who will in turn send you to do missions.  Be they simple strong arm muscling of local businesses or hijacking trucks loaded with high quality stereo equipment or fine silk suits, you'll be on a timer.  Complete the mission within the allotted amount of time and your Capo will be pleased and send you on more lucrative missions as you build up trust and respect.  Fail to complete missions and your Capo will look down on you, giving you lesser responsibilities, making you go for his dry-cleaning and picking up his niece from ballet practice and such. 




CAPO


Once you gain enough respect, you're Capo may decide to sponsor you to Tony Soprano.  In order to gain the Mob Bosses respect, you'll be ordered to kill someone.  If your character simply cannot do such a loathe thing, he slides sideways into the "Money Man" slot. 

A Money Man will never be a Mob Boss, but will have a +25% increase to their overall earnings through rackets and such.  They may someday achieve the rank of Consigliere after achieving a milestone, such as a law degree or earning over a million dollars.


Should you follow your orders and wack someone, it may take as long as five years for the the event "The Books Are Opened" to trigger.  Until this event occurs, you must continue to slave and toil under your Capo, whilst complaining bitterly about your salary, respect and how you're tired of waiting.




Dey Opened Da Books


During this event, a full Cadillac arrives at your home, you are asked to don your finest suit, get into the passenger side of the car, and are driven off to a random bar, dive or dark, secluded place.  Once you've arrived at the secret location you'll perform the time honored ceremony, surrounded by your friends in the family.  Your name will be entered into the hallowed halls of "Made Men", complete with solemn blood letting and bloodier oaths.  After the sacred ceremony, Tony Soprano will walk up to you, stuff an envelope full of cash into your inside suit pocket, and welcome you to the family.



Once a Made Man, you'll be given you're own territory, a car upgrade, and extra $40,000 another goo-mah and another addiction (of your choice!).  You' be given two flunkies to send out on missions, and more will slowly trickle in over time.  Their stats will be randomized as are the two initial ones you've received.  You will also be required to "earn" a mandatory $10,000 dollars a month.  If you fail to do so, you will earn the scorn and disdain of Tony Soprano.  If you fail to achieve the marker of ten thousand dollars after 6 months, you risk being "Called For". 



During this event, a full Cadillac arrives at your home, you are asked to don your finest suit, get into the passenger side of the car, and are driven off to a random bar, dive or dark, secluded place.  There is a .5% chance it will be a surprise birthday party for you.  In which case, there is a 10% chance you soil yourself and are promptly demoted back to flunky, with a permanent -15 to all stats, and the monkier "Piss Pants" infront of your name for the rest of your career.


If you manage to keep the boss happy and make your goals after 3 months, you'll be given your own soldier.  After another two months you will recieve another soldier.  Every month after there is a 25% chance that a soldier will report directly to you.  After you've accumilated 10 soliders, you may apply for the Consigliere position, or press onwards.  If you decide to skip the Consigliere position, you will continue to grow very powerful.




Consigliere


The Consigliere position is a powerful one in that, you sit around in a backroom somewhere and give Tony Soprano advice on what to do.  He may or may not listen to you, but if he does, you earn respect. 

You are at your boss's side and at his beck and call for most of your gameplay. 

You get a percentage of all Capo's earnings, and are provided with bodyguards, a bulletproof car an your own business cards.

You are allowed to give orders down do everyone else, but they should coincide with the Boss's wishes, or you may get an earful. 

The only way to loose this coveted position other than promotion, is to be wacked,  arrested and subsequently convicted, or beaten to death by the Boss.


Boss


If Tony ever gets Wacked, you become the De-Facto Mob Boss of the Sopranos, and may play on in ignorant bliss until you yourself are wacked, arrested and indicted on a major racketeering charge or keel over dead into your gobba-goo from a massive coronary at your favoraite local restaurant. 

See how long you can last! 

If you earn a Trillion dollars, you are automatically declared the winner, and you're name will go down in history as the greatest Don of all time!




Audible Commands

AAAAaaa                         Where You Goin?         And Who Are You Supposed Ta Be?                                WhoAAAoooo
     7                                         8                                           9                                                                              -
                 \                              |                           /     
                                                                                                                                                                   Why I Outta...
                       \                        |                      /                                                                                                    +

AaaOOOooo      -  -  - Fuhgeddaboudit- - - - - - -  S'upposed Ta Be A Joke?!                                           
     4                                         5                                            6                                                                   OOOoooooh
                         /                      |                     \                                                                                                   Entr
 
                   /                            |                          \ 
                                                                                                                                                                 You Lookin' At Me?
     1                                         2                                            3                                                                             Del
Dat Reminds Me    Eh I Took Care'a Dat Ting For You    Aaa Have Some Goombatta-Goo
                                                                                                                                                                   Yeah Whatever
                                                                                                                                                                             Ins




MISC

If the player is arrest for a minor crime, there is a 50% chance they are approached by the FBI to turn states evidence.

If the player is arrest for a Major crime, there is a 100% chance they are approached by the FBI to turn states evidence.

Anyone the player comes in contact with has a 20% chance of wearing a wire and is working for the Government.

If the player gets another girlfriend, there is a 99% chance his Goo-mah finds out and goes haywire.

If the player gets another girlfriend, there is a .0001% chance his wife finds out and goes haywire.

If the player turns states evidence for the FBI and wears a wire, a big black rat symbol appears in the upper right hand screen.  Make sure to alt-tab frequently so the image doesn't burn into your desktop screen.



If the player decides, for whatever reason, to run from the mob and flee town, there is a 50% chance of triggering the "Johnny Cakes" event.* 

19
The Mess Hall / RAGDOLLS GALORE (pictures)
« on: March 27, 2015, 06:53:41 am »
Post the funniest.... no the greatest..... no the THE GREATEST MOST HILARIOUS SCREWED UP ETC ETC E-T-C PICTURE OF RAGDOLLS IN NW!!!!!!!!!!! COME ONE CAME ALL TO THE HILARITY...... i need to start taking pictures for this :)

20
The Mess Hall / Ranks
« on: March 21, 2015, 07:15:43 pm »
This hos nothing to do with regiment stuff. This has more to do with the little forum rank you have under your name like Major or something..... how do they work?

21
The Mess Hall / Skyrim update?
« on: March 19, 2015, 11:52:22 pm »
anyone else get a skyrim update on 3/19/2015?

22
Official Servers Bans & Unbans / Ban Request
« on: March 13, 2015, 03:42:57 am »
Name of the server you were on Na1
Name of the person causing trouble 84e_Sdt_Cheesy-Bubbes
Nature of their offense Mass tk
Time and date of their offense around 8:20 ish 3/12/15
If needed, what your relationship was to the offense in question. witness
Any proof if you have it, For instance screenshots. (use spoilers!)
Spoiler
[close]

on a side note he had been complaining about the map before then blew thee people up and exclaimed END THE MAP ALREADY or something of similar meaning.

23
Official Servers Bans & Unbans / Ban request.
« on: March 04, 2015, 01:25:18 am »
Name of the server you were on NA1
Name of the person causing trouble MoraleSquad_Ali_Khamenei
Nature of their offense mass tk and other kinds of trolling
Time and date of their offense round 5 pm on 3-3-15
If needed, what your relationship was to the offense in question. victim/witness
Any proof if you have it, For instance screenshots. (use spoilers!)

Spoiler
[close]

and on a side note I'd like to ask that you guys keep an eye one the MoraleSquad. Some of em don't seem to bad, but others seem like they may be exceedingly troublesome trolls.

24
Official Servers Bans & Unbans / Ban request
« on: February 15, 2015, 11:33:59 pm »
Name of the server you were on NA1
Name of the person causing trouble 13Ap_LtCol_Undercover
Nature of their offense tking at the beginning of round
Time and date of their offense 3:30 ish 2/15/2015
If needed, what your relationship was to the offense in question. victim
Any proof if you have it, For instance screenshots. (use spoilers!)
Spoiler
[close]

25
The Mess Hall / Favorite Villains in Fiction.
« on: February 14, 2015, 06:52:40 am »
Whats your guy's favorite villains? After all a hero is a hero but everyone loves a good villain.
For me:
            Disney(Animated): Scar from the Lion King.
            Disney(real): Barbarossa from Pirates of the Caribbean
            Video Games: Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2.
            Classic: Darth Vader
            Anime: The Major from Hellsing.
            Others(some fit in the above just those are my favorite):
                                                                                                    Pagan Min from Far Cry 4.
                                                                                                    Mercer from Skyrim.
                                                                                                    Maxwell from Don't Starve.
                                                                                                    Jafar from Aladdin.
                                                                                                    Koura from The Golden Advnetures of Sinbad.
                                                                                                    Light Yagami from Death Note.
                                                                                                    and the last one is Kayaba Akihiko from SAO.


26
The Mess Hall / Greatest Blunders in History.
« on: February 11, 2015, 02:45:57 pm »
What the title says post your favorite blunders in history. This can literally be anything.

Mine.
#1 Invading Russia in the winter.
#2 The Roman Corvus(ship weapon look it up :))
And #3 Pissing off Vikings.

27
Official Servers Bans & Unbans / multiple ban requests
« on: January 24, 2015, 07:38:37 am »
Name of the server you were on NA1
Name of the person causing trouble Ginger_F,Police_man,Sawgrass,Jonathan
Nature of their offense exploiting/glitching
Time and date of their offense around 11:30 pm 1/23/1025
If needed, what your relationship was to the offense in question. witness
Any proof if you have it, For instance screenshots. (use spoilers!)
Spoiler
[close]
Spoiler
[close]
Spoiler
[close]
Spoiler
[close]

The rock they were glitching into:
Spoiler
[close]

28
Official Servers Bans & Unbans / ban request
« on: January 24, 2015, 06:49:37 am »
Name of the server you were on: NA1
Name of the person causing trouble: N***** (i don't ever type this word)
Nature of their offense: slurs
Time and date of their offense around 10:30-10:40ish 1/23/2015 mountain time
If needed, what your relationship was to the offense in question. witness
Any proof if you have it, For instance screenshots. (use spoilers!)
Spoiler
[close]

Personal note i originally thought that this was just some new guy who didn't know the rules of the server that is why there is a gap in time for this (trying to tell someone that their name will get them banned without typing it is a very hard thing to do), but then he finally said that it was okay because he was black. Then someone else said in chat that he would get and admin on to tell him the rules. Instantly DCed and didn't come back. If it wasn't for that i wouldn't have even posted this, but that to me proved that this guy was jsut trying to be a troll and possibly incite something. all of this part happened around 10:40
Edit: after i posted this i hopped back on and found that he had returned(same face) but with the name don't_shoot_im_black (i know this is not offensive and it may not be him just thought I'd clarify that for you)

29
The Mess Hall / Ed, Edd, n' Eddy Thread
« on: January 22, 2015, 07:31:13 am »


Figured we needed on of these. Rules are simple post anything you want about Ed, Edd, n' Eddy within reason. memes, gifs, pictures, theories, favorite moments, videos, fan art, fan stories, etc. etc. We will increase the epicness of this forums gentleman.



For me:

Favorite character: Rolf()/Double D()/Ed()()()/Eddy() can't decide.


Favorite group: the Eds ()

Favorite pun:


Favorite line:


Favorite Ed line (his lines are all his own):


And so it begins.

30
The Mess Hall / NW Faces (POSTING OF IN GAME FACES HERE)
« on: January 06, 2015, 05:07:45 am »
saw a thread like this at the back of the forums thought i'd revive the interest. :D
Rule: post a face from NW doesn't have to be yours  but must be from in game in NW
However please give credit to the guy whose face it is.

Spoiler
[close]
......... couldnt recreate my old face on my new laptop....... EPIC MUSTACHE RESULTS

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