Seems that you have difficulty in manouvering your horse to enable you to kill lancers easily, remember that their weakness is their right hand side of their horse, and of course, to their rear. Someone mentioned about 'stalling' a lancer's horse by running in front of him, this is by far my favourite tactic when fighting vs the bruhlans in our trainings.
I myself do not use the lance often, I prefer my light cavalry sabre, and i'm sure that people, if asked will testify that my sabre can really cause stress to my bruhlans when we're working on our anti cav trainings. Using a sword, especially the longer heavy cavalry sword can be an instant horse killer, most lancers go for the kill, so release slightly later than if you were to swing for the horse's mouth when at full speed.
As i'm sure your aware, dismounted lancers are near useless in public play or LB's, equipped with only a lance that cannot block, and a sword that their proficiency is lacking in, they are often cut down easily. Just remember, don't always go for the kill vs a lancer.
A point you seem to be missing out on as well, is the fact that lancers are anti cavalry. Calling that they are OP because, when you are cavalry, they are killing you...is well...ridiculous. Myself and Killermongoose used to have these 'friendly' converssations on the old MM forums
And I too can testify that he has learnt the skills needed to defeat lancers in 1 v 1 combat.
My final point, is that your examples so far, have been based on tournaments and groupservers, including well led, experienced and well trained cavalry. I'd suggest you step back, train up on the official battle servers, then re-enter them. As said, these guys are experienced and well trained cavalry players, so making threads stating that you are getting destroyed by them, is again, an invalid use of a thread imo.
Hope some of this may have helped, like Rev said, if you want to go up against some lancers, i'm sure we Bruhlans, 1stPLG or the FK can help you out if you message us
- Smithy