Spoiler
The matchups are set! Here are some storylines and statistics for the first round of the playoffs, starting with Les Blues vs STX!
The reward for Les Blues after rebounding from an 0-3 start to the season is perhaps their toughest matchup in the Seal Team. While both are 4-4 teams, the path they took to get there and the win conditions are diametrically opposed. STX won both matchups in the regular season, winning 4 maps to Les Blues' 1. The rounds totals are much closer than the maps, though, at 87 to 72!
To no one's surprise, Cwater comes out at the top of the board in AIR, KDR, and kills. To my surprise, Red Viper is second in all of these categories and first in FBR! One Les Blues member accurately guessed Viper's position on the board for the season series, noting that "my team's fucking stupid and gets farmed by him". Another one was surprised, but added that "viper always goes off vs us". This outlier in performance has clearly been noted by Les Blues - will game day adjustments be evident? Other league sources, when presented with Viper's stats, expressed surprise, with one describing it as "a bit shocking" and noting that "horse, camden, oatmeal should all be higher". Internal STX sources describe Viper as "a player who can get very hot during a match", noting that his aggressive playstyle could be dangerous to the team if he goes cold. Red Viper may have a lot more eyes on him when the match begins - is he the x factor?
One league source guessed Vlad as second in AIR, and while he's not second he is 3rd. Vlad's gone under the radar this season, especially with the shocking underperformances from Sven and James, but internally the team spares no blushes when describing his impact. Internal Les Blues sources describe Vlad as "honestly super valuable", "our second-best player", {has a} "huge importance to Les Bleus" and "the reason we won our most recent match". Vlad's no stranger to competitive NW, but the impact he's having on Les Blues this league with a 1.21 AIR vs teammates, 0.96 KDR, and 1.07 FBR is a giant leap above expected. Vlad's been a consistent force this season - probably the most consistent on his team - and a "vital piece to our team". Not bad for the second last player selected in league 1. Les Blues sources believe Vlad to be the x factor for this playoff matchup.
Cwater vs Horse is going to be a marquee matchup. Horse has played well in the matchup, but the first deaths disparity is real - Horse has 17 first deaths and Cwater has 17 first bloods. Obviously they weren't solely killing each other, but the first death head to head may be a decisive factor in determining the winner of this matchup. Even with the up and down season and disappointing performances from his team., Horse's first death numbers - 57 overall - show increased discipline in an area of concern, a good sign leading into the playoffs. No surprise this season in Cwater's numbers, although one thing to note is that Cwater has been negative in first bloods in 4 of his 8 matchups. Marked domination in his other matchups lead to better overall numbers, and the presence of first pick machine Camden on his squad surely affects this, but for the undisputed #1 having negative first bloods in 50% of his matchups may be something to watch as a storyline in the playoffs.
Key underperformances from Sven and James are the story of this season for Les Blues, with many shocked to see the disastrous week-over-week results from the team's captain and star wall player. Internal and external sources found their season as "very surprising", with one saying "Idk why sven has been underperforming". Sven particularly attracted surprise with his lackluster results, with one player noting that James has "the ability to play super well but he just seems to not really play to his potential". A further source pointed out that James "has maintained from year to year, stats wise" - so maybe underperformance is relative to expectation rather than stats. Regardless, with Camden's high impact throughout the season, especially through being #1 by far in first bloods and second only to Cwater in FBR, Les Blues is going to need at least one of Sven (the stylistic matchup) or James (the captain matchup) to step up for them to continue their playoff run. Certainly seems that STX isn't taking these two lightly, though, with one STX player stating "those days are definitely behind them. They are not as bad as they played early on in the season. I doubt very much they will look the same heading into our match."
This might be the quietest Oatmeal season in recent memory. The statistical picture is fine - 1.03 KDR, 1.32 FBR, 0.66 cumulative AIR - but in terms of impact the general view is that Oatmeal is underperforming this league. Opinions on this season vary, but a core message is clear - more is needed for success. One particularly harsh view was that Oatmeal is "lucky he has cwater on his team, anyone else and his slack is pulling his team down" - a strong message indeed! Internal sources agreed that "Oatmeal was certainly struggling early on in the season" but recent matches have caused STX players to regain trust in his ability come playoff time. Another league source accused Oatmeal of "taking (the) season off" but noted that "his supporting cast isnt as good as it has been in previous seasons where we are used to seeing oatmeal go off". Oatmeal has been accused in the past of severely underperforming in key playoff moments after regular season dominance - maybe this season will bring the opposite?
Oatmeal's supporting cast really wasn't the best this season - especially when it comes to Wall. A veteran with a long history of solid competitive play, Wall's season has been a disaster - previously one of the most consistent players in the game, a lot of criticism came pouring in for a player with a lengthy stay in the bottom 5 for cumulative AIR. One player simply said "LOL" - a fitting summary. Internal sources note the underperformance but still believe him capable of being " consistent (like) in years past - we just need to activate that mentality in him again". Captain Vertildr even went as far as saying "I picked him #3 for a reason." Team sources also downplayed a roster change for the playoffs - "we are sticking with Wall unless something very disastrous happens". If he's at his best Wall can be a true shutdown counter to Sven or Horse, but we haven't seen it yet.
Gotta think that the favourite is STX - the head-to-head record, playoff Cwater, and upward trend on Oatmeal seem to indicate they should take the win. Oatmeal is my x factor for STX, while Sven is my x factor for Les Blues.
PREDICTION:
Seal Team Sex 2 - 1 Les Blues, Cwater player of the match
Soulja was asked for comment for a few different points. He asked for me to quote, in full and by name, this about Vlad, Sven and James:
Spoiler
"Vlad aka Rockets player Vlao Ming is of huge importance to Les Bleus. While not uttering a single word, he commands the attention of the team at all moments. Vlad is the epitome of (the dog in me) and really shows it because his playstyle resembles an unhinged beast. Vlao mings commanding presence is the only reason horse hasnt mentally boomed."
"Before Sven started taking anabolic steroids, he was a complete bum (0 sex 0 bitches 0 play) but now he is not underperforming. HE HAS HEART"
"James (goat) is not underperforming as he is the behind the scenes goat"
Oooo someone went to the Goomba school of using words they don't understand the meaning of. I'm not 'projecting' anything, since I can't really project being dead last in every draft league I've ever played in, unlike some people. Also, where did this complete fabrication that I can't do math come from? I wasn't looking at the board, and the only reason I was able to retract the bid was because other people had already done it several times throughout the draft. The reality of the situation is this; I'm better than you, I draft better, and - miraculously - I'm actually somehow liked better. Keep living in your fantasy where anyone cares what you say or do, because it's honestly fascinating how you haven't either left the community or pulled a Moraine with how much shit people give you. You can continue to cope somewhere else, but you really need to get off FSE, because you're somehow taking more L's than your draft league teams.
P.S. Glenn actually doing his job? Impossible
Again proving my point more by running off subject
Your team still, and will forever be a team created by your inability to do math, and complaints. Nothing can change that. The only person giving me shit is you, and its running out the other ear very quickly.
Fact of the matter, again stays the same, and there isn't an insult in the world that you can keep spewing out that changes that fact.
Again proving your inability to read, as I directly addressed your claims and you've either entirely ignored my rebuttal, or are illiterate. And I must of misunderstood you; I'm the only one giving you shit? I suppose it makes sense in your fantasy that Theo and Piktons never refused to play for you because they found you so insufferable, or that Wastee begged half his friends list to be captain because so many people stated they would not play with you.
The only things not changing here are your inability to process reality, go positive in a gf, or draft a team that goes above .500. Here's the deal, I'll keep winning, and you'll continue to cope with me living rent free in your mind.
Edit; I would give you drafting advice but, as you stated, it would probably go out your other ear because of how incomprehensibly stupid you are.
Saying the same stuff as before isn't changing your directive or helping the situation. Again, insulting me isn't gonna change anything, which is, you have a unbalanced team due to your fussing. I don't need to sit here and bicker and trade insults to proceed my point. You got your team because you couldn't actually draft like a proper captain should be capable of doing. The performance has nothing to due with the overall matter. What type of person bath's in achievement, after it has been openly agreed that you didn't draft that team. The ego is screaming beyond any measure that I have seen.
Your only counterargument to all of this is "your team is bad lol", "your stupid lol". I didn't know I stumbled into 1st grade recess, but clearly that is the only type of demeanor you can present yourself, because you haven't engaged in any conversation on track other remarks that proceed to defensive insults. So again, I'll ask you not for final time because you refuse to provide any context. Did you, Cwater, make a mistake on draft night, which illuminated your desire to complain about the team you drafted that resulted in you complaining about your draft situation(predicament), forcing the league to make unbalanced measures. Clearly you want to give me a lesson on drafting teams so I would love to hear the mindset behind this draft tactic that resulted in this team.
P.S. Quit bantering like a child and get to the point, your beginning to make this to easy.
This is actually beginning to get sad. I know you ignore anything that doesn't fit within the realm of the delusional fantasy you've concocted around yourself, but I have literally, directly, responded to your claim that my team is a result of Wastee taking exceptional measures because of 'complaining'. In reality - something you're unfamiliar with - I was eventually afforded the same courtesy that other captains had already been extended; i.e. being allowed to retract a bid. I'm aware you're likely to ignore this as your sight is as selective as your drafting needs to be, but I see no one else complaining besides you, the misanthropic infant of NW.
And while we're on the subject of drafting, the audacity to call yourself a 'proper captain' beggars all belief. You, who can't retain 3rd-rate players because you're so whiny, egotistical, and downright fucking stupid that you are actually of the belief that you're a good player. I hate to break it to you, you're not. And before you pull the 'omaigawd stahp hurting mah feerings no points only insults'; what have I said that's an insult? I have only stated facts, facts that include you being the worst draft league captain of all time, who's attempting to justify his own inability to draft by claiming that the game was rigged from the start and you never really had a chance. I have drafted good teams in every draft format imaginable, you've managed to draft the worst team in league history 4, maybe 5 times? Please continue to cope, cry, and whatever else failures such as yourself revel in, but this is actually the most pathetic excuse for an argument I've ever witnessed from you, and that's saying something.
P.S. Saying something is easy doesn't make it easy, something which I'm sure your draft league team finds out every night after your obligatory 'THEY AIN'T SHIT' speech. Fucking loser
You continued to do exactly what I we all expected of you, which is continue to go off topic. You didn't even answer my question which was elaborating on your team you drafted. You even tried to twist my words saying I called myself a "proper captain" when I was more directing it to the fact that you couldn't actually finish the draft without league help, which is a fact because you openly just admitted Wastee had to get involved in "your" drafting process. Wouldn't a "proper captain" know how to draft his team? You also, continued(I can only laugh its getting this moronic), to insult me after I told you get to the point. Do you have anything of your own on this matter, or you just gonna repeat digression. The fact you weigh the blame on the league for getting involved, and you couldn't even say it was your fault is insane. You wanna talk about audacity, then utilize in the context of your own imprecation, because this isn't about me, so stop bringing me into your banter, and start getting to the point, because your still running off topic.
I genuinely give absolutely no fucks about skills, teams, teams ran, team record, team existence, personal skill, or any anything about performance, this conversation has nothing to do with that. I just want you to point out the simple point of what was going through your head when you decided to complain, and completely throw your entire salary cap into one player. If it isn't a math mistake, then lets hear what it was, because it was a clear mistake that you won't address because it contradicts your entire banter that you have been throwing at me, and the banter from your ego to opposing teams. You managed to cap your way through pages of text, without actually pointing out anything that matters, it is genuinely amazing, because you just went on a rant about how you pointed out facts, when nothing you said had anything to due with the context of what was said.
Lets get to the facts that actually matter:
You draft Jaax for 9.1 million, which is 2.1 million over asking price. You alone already costed 7,300,000 so it left you with - 3.7 mil. So on your first draft pick, you went negative 3,700,000. You spent, your entire budget on two players, and didn't expect any concern? Complete disassociation with the reality of the situation, you also were choosing the very first pick on the draft board, so you managed to completely blow your budget, on the first player on the draft. This really puts a lot of insight into your draft strategy. So the league gives you sleek, a player worth 1.5 million on the draft board. Which means you had 1.5 million more than you should have, because of your mistakes. Now mistakes are made no doubt, it happens, losing happens, blunders, anything, its called existing, you make mistakes. The real problem I have with all of this, is you want to blow your horn on how much better you are, because your sitting here talking about how your gonna keep winning, and how much of a great captain you are. The problem is your ego, and your complete lack of respect for anything. You cannot say your "bid retraction" didn't help you get a player for cheaper, because if that is the case you got two high level players for asking price, as already a high level player. Many people spent far more with far less, so you got a clear advantage. The whole basis of this draft was about bid wars, and mixing up teams, not stacking them. Don't downplay your handicap and mercy presented by the league because you got a boatload of both.
Do I agree with the league's decision to allow you to get Sleek, absolutely not, and if we want a competitive league then it shouldn't be a thing(not saying this league isn't competitive talking more specifically to this situation). Do I think your being a massive knob head for actually arguing that you drafted this team methodically, and thoughtfully, yes I do. We should be checking these situations not ignoring them, and Cwater, this has nothing to do with you sorry to disappoint your massive ego but there are bigger things in play. Absolutely this was a massive blunder on the community by not bringing this up far prior(myself included).
At the end of the day we are a community of people who all play a game we all enjoy, and if we continue to disregard key points that allow us to enjoy the game in the way we like to play it. All of you cannot deny you enjoy this game as you have dedicated thousands of hours, and even if you didn't enjoy it you still find yourself here playing, so please lets not make a dreadful experience by being a bunch of mongoloids. People got to stop being so nasty to different insight on a situation, or just insight at all, because I don't see anyone else here pointing out the complete obvious.
I would like to apologize to Cwater for being a cunt in the sight of something deeper. With that being said, your NW skills don't get you the right to be so vain. My business here is done I won't be continuing this conversation, if you want to continue to ramble be my guest Cwater my point is made.
It's honestly impressive how you managed to so neatly miss EVERYTHING you claim that I didn't say. I told you what happened, I told you why I'm better, yet you continue to elaborate on your little fantasy. I could copy-paste any of my previous responses and it would suffice, as you've failed to further the conversation in any meaningful way. I'm better than you at drafting because I realized that the system could easily be exploited due to a disparity in money, players, and slots. I was able to get Jaax early and get extremely good deals on my later players due to the aforementioned disparity. Speaking of draft decisions, how much did you draft Piktons for? 6 million? Just for him to not play for you? I apologize for the fact that I pay for worthwhile players, but I hardly think that's my fault for your inability to draft. Waiting until the 4th round to start drafting players when you have the most money in the draft couldn't possibly go wrong. Right?
I think we've come to the root of the issue here Shityiuz. It's not necessary for me to 'blow my horn', because everything already proves I'm better. Better teams? Check. Better stats? Check. Better results? Checkity-check-check. You instigated this argument because in some neglected corner of your addled brain, reason is beginning to blossom. This rational side of your brain is slowly causing you to realize - emphasis on slowly - that the fantasy you've ensconced yourself in is ridiculous. That you aren't truly the paragon that you believe yourself to be and that maybe, just maybe, you're actually one of the most worthless human beings that anyone has ever had the misfortune to encounter. But that fantasy doesn't die easily does it? That fantasy is kicking, screaming, and thinking of any reasoning - however flawed - that might sustain it for just one more day. That's why you're randomly posting about me with no context, and why you're so desperate to 'prove' something that will have no tangible effect on the league. We can continue this charade for however long you wish, but it's not truly about me is it? All of this is meant to obfuscate - from yourself and others - how legitimately meaningless anything you've done in this game or community has been. While most everything in this game is meaningless to some extent, you truly bring a deeper meaning to the word. A horrible, Lovecraftian pit, lacking anything which you can point to as having made your experience playing this game worthwhile. A single league 2 championship pales in comparison to the number of people you've proven yourself despicable to. You can hem and haw and pretend none of this is relevant Cytiuz, but at the end of the day we both know why you're actually doing this.
Honestly at this point I can't even hate you, I just pity you, and that's the worst insult I can possibly imagine.
i lied
