Im top in the polls to be UK Prime minister - yes I am indeed the legend Rishi something, yes that's me. I know this will come as a shock to you all but soon I will have the power to nuke any of you that disagree with my opinions that includes you "admins".
My first act as prime minister will be to make the crispy chicken wrap from McDonald's be the wrap of the day for the rest of my term, who eats the fucking BBQ one?
The Welsh language will finally be outlawed and speakers will be targeted.
Finally I will let Scotland break away in 2024 by digging a big trench and using a big stick to push it further north so they are cold all the time and can't grow any food.